And when we reached my flat, he looked at me with an unpleasantly confident smile, and said, "Perhaps you've heard that I'm going to become Mr Wickfield's partner, Mr Copperfield?"
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"Would you -- would you like to come to my rooms for coffee, Uriah?" I offered, trying to hide my horror of him.
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Agnes had asked me to be polite to Uriah if I met him, and so, when I saw him the next day near the law courts, I was careful not to offend him. He looked even stranger than before, with his small evil head and long thin body, and his wide oily smile. When we shook hands, I noticed how cold and wet his hand felt, just like a fish.
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"Yes," I replied. "Agnes has told me about it."
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"Oh, Master Copperfield, I mean, Mister Copperfield, I should say now! How kind of you! I'm too humble to expect such kindness! But I would like that!"
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I was annoyed with myself for mentioning Agnes's name, and hated hearing him say it, but I said nothing and drank my coffee.
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"Ah! I'm glad to hear that Miss Agnes knows about it," he answered. "Thank you for that, Mr Copperfield!"
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"Miss Agnes is looking beautiful at the moment, isn't she?" he went on, smiling horribly. "Mr Copperfield, I trust you, because as you know, I've always liked you, although I'm so humble, and you're a gentleman. So I'd like to tell you my little secret. In spite of my low position, I love Miss Agnes! I've given my heart to her, and I hope to marry her one day!"
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Suddenly, although the room was warm, an icy coldness spread through my body, as I stared into his cruel little face.
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There was a purple mist in front of my eyes. I wanted to hit his ugly face, or stab a knife right into his wicked heart. I was almost mad with anger. But I thought of Agnes's request, and I managed to control myself.
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"You said once, Mr Copperfield," continued Uriah, rubbing his hands together happily, "that perhaps I'd be Mr Wickfield's partner one day. It was kind of you to say so. A humble person like me remembers things like that! And now it's true! I'm glad to think I've been able to help poor Mr Wickfield. Oh, how very careless he has been! If I hadn't been his assistant, he would certainly have lost his business, his house, and all his money by now. Of course, I'm helping him because I admire him -- and not only him…"
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"Oh no, Mr Copperfield. I'm waiting for the right moment. Perhaps I'll ask her when I become her father's partner. She'll think kindly of me, you see, when she realizes how much her father needs me. She loves him so much! Ah, what a good daughter my Agnes is! And what an excellent wife she'll be to me!"
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"Have -- have you spoken to Agnes about your -- your love?" I asked as calmly as I could.
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A year had passed since I first started work in Mr Spenlow's firm. I often went to court with him, and began to understand the details of some of the most difficult cases. Mr Spenlow was kind to me, and occasionally talked to me, not only about law but also about other matters. I discovered that his wife had died, and that he lived in a large country house just outside London, with his only daughter and her paid companion. One day he invited me to his house for the weekend, and I accepted gratefully. So on Friday evening Mr Spenlow's coach and horses drove us to the house.
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Dear, sweet Agnes, my adopted sister! I did not know any man good enough to be her husband. Could she ever marry this worthless insect? When Uriah left my flat, I spent a sleepless night worrying about what I should do. In the end I decided to say nothing to Agnes about Uriah's plan, as she already had enough to worry about.
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When I saw the Spenlows' home, I realized how rich Mr Spenlow must be. It was a lovely old building, with large gar dens. As soon as we entered, Mr Spenlow asked one of the servants, "Where's Miss Dora?"
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"Dora!" I thought. "What a beautiful name!" We went in to the sitting-room, and I suppose Mr Spenlow introduced me. I did not notice, because nothing mattered at that moment. I just stared stupidly at his daughter Dora, lost in wonder at her beauty, and unable to say anything. I had fallen in love in a second.
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As I stared, I heard a voice speaking to me, but it was not Dora's. It was her companion, whom I had not noticed at all while Mr Spenlow was making the introductions. When I saw that the companion was Miss Murdstone, I was surprised, certainly, but nothing could take my attention away from Dora for more than a second or two.
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Mr Spenlow explained that Miss Murdstone had been kind enough to come and look after his poor motherless daughter, and to be her confidential friend and companion. But it seemed to me that Dora was neither friendly nor confidential towards her stern companion.
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I had wondered if Miss Murdstone would try and blacken my name with the Spenlows, but on that first evening she had taken me to one side.
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"Certainly, ma'am. We are agreed on that, although I shall never change my opinion of you."
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I put Miss Murdstone out of my mind, and for several weeks after meeting Dora, I lived in a dream. I did my work automatically, and I never stopped thinking of her. The greatest happiness I could imagine was being engaged to Dora. I dared not hope that one day we would be married.
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As for me, the rest of the weekend passed in a kind of fog. We ate meals, and went for walks. People spoke to me, and I answered. But I have no idea what I actually said. All I remember was Dora's golden hair, and Dora's blushing face, and Dora's beautiful blue eyes! Occasionally I was lucky enough to speak to her alone, and then I was so shy that I blushed as much as Dora herself. I was very jealous of the little dog that she carried everywhere with her. Sometimes I thought she liked me a little, and at other times I was sure she would never love me. I was wildly, desperately in love!
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"David Copperfield," she said coldly. "I see no need for either of us to speak about the past to anyone here. I imagine we are agreed on that."
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While walking round London one day, hoping to meet Dora out shopping, I met my old schoolfriend Tommy Traddles. He was living in the city, like me, and was also studying to become a lawyer. I arranged to visit him, and went to his house after work the next day. He lived in one room in a rented house, in a very poor part of the city. His room was small, and almost empty.
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"Copperfield! I'm glad to see you!" he said warmly. "you can see I haven't got much furniture, but I'm hoping to earn more money later, when I've finished my studies."
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"Yes, but I've always been unlucky, you know. He decided he didn't like me, so he didn't leave me anything when he died. I'm really very poor, and I have to do several jobs to pay for my studies." Traddles looked surprisingly cheerful. "But I must tell you, Copperfield, as you're an old friend, that I'm engaged! To a lovely girl, who comes from a large family, and lives in Devon!"
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"Didn't you have a rich uncle, Traddles?" I asked.
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I was thinking of Dora as I shook hands with him and congratulated him enthusiastically. "Will you get married soon?" I asked.
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"How are you, Mr Micawber?" I asked. "Do you remember me?"
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"No, she's very poor too, so we'll have to wait a long time, until we've saved enough money."
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"She's such a dear girl, Copperfield. She says she'll wait for me until she's sixty, if necessary! And I'm quite happy here with the people who rent the house -- the Micawbers are very kind."
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Just then Mr Micawber himself knocked at the door and entered. His stomach was a little fatter and his face a little older than before, but he looked as confident as ever. I went up to him and shook his hand.
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When Mrs Micawber came in, she was also delighted to see me, and we talked for some time about the twins, and the other children, and her husband's business interests. But this conversation soon made Mr Micawber rather depressed.
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"Who did you say?" I cried. "The Micawbers! I know them!"
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"Is it possible? Can it be? Have I the pleasure of seeing my old friend Copperfield again?" he replied, a smile spreading over his large face. He turned to call downstairs, "My dear! Come and meet this gentleman, my love!"
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Traddles looked uncomfortable. "Thank you, Copperfield," he whispered in reply, "but I've already lent him some. I don't know whether he'll give it back -- you know how unlucky I am!"
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"Micawber!" cried his wife. "How can you say that! You know I have always loved and admired you, and always will love and admire you! My dear husband!" And they fell into each other's arms, sobbing on each other's shoulders. In a few moments they had both dried their eyes and looked quite cheerful again. I realized that the Micawbers had not changed at all, but this quick change of mood was rather a surprise for Traddles.
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"You see, Copperfield," he said miserably, "nothing has turned up yet. Sometimes I wonder whether anything ever will turn up. I can't pay for our food, or even our water. It's hard enough for me to accept the situation, but how can I expect my dear wife to live like this? Perhaps it would have been better if I had never asked her to marry me!" He put his head in his hands.
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Before I left, I made sure I had a word in private with my old schoolfriend. "Traddles," I whispered, "take my advice -- don't lend Mr Micawber any money. He's got a lot of debts."
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"I've just been to Yarmouth, David!" he told me.
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"Oh!" I replied. "You've seen the Peggotty family, I expect?"
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"I haven't seen much of them, but I have got some news for you. It's about old Barkis. I'm afraid his illness has got much worse, and the doctor thinks he'll die very soon."
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When I got back to my rooms, I found Steer forth waiting for me there. I thought of Agnes's warning about him, but when I saw his open, good-looking face, I could not believe he could be a bad influence on anyone. However, there was something rather strange in his manner that night. Sometimes he seemed quite depressed, almost desperate, but a minute later he was laughing wildly, and I had no idea why he was like that.
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"Yes, it's bad luck," replied Steerforth carelessly. "But people die in this world every minute. I'm not afraid of death! I want to live life in my own way, and nobody can stop me!" He threw his head back proudly. I looked into his handsome face, wondering why he was so excited, which was unusual for him.
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"Oh dear!" I said. "Poor Peggotty will be so sad!"
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"Steerforth, I think I'll have to go to Yarmouth myself," I said. "Perhaps I can help Peggotty at this difficult time."
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"Steerforth, you have no best or worst for me," I answered. "You will always have your place in my heart!"
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Smiling, he put his hands on my shoulders. "I wish I could be as good as you! David, promise me that if anything ever happens to separate us, you'll think of me at my best! Promise me that!"
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And as he turned to go, he gave me his hand, and smiled in his old friendly way. That is how I like to remember him, now that I shall never touch his hand again, or see him smile.
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"Emily's very young, Master David," explained Daniel. "It's hard for her to accept death. That's why she's crying. Now cheer up, Emily my dear, Ham has come to take you home. what's that?" He bent his grey head down to hear her whispered reply. "You want to stay here with your old uncle? But you should go with Ham -- he'll be your husband soon!"
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When I arrived in Yarmouth, I went straight to Barkis's house. In the sitting-room I found Daniel, Ham and Emily. Ham was standing by the door, while Emily was sobbing in Daniel's arms. None of them seemed surprised to see me.
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He was lying unconscious in bed, looking very pale and ill. Peggotty was sitting beside him. She jumped up and took me delightedly in her arms, just as she used to do. Then she turned to her husband. "Barkis, my dear," she said almost cheerfully, "here's Master David, who brought us together, you remember? He carried your messages for you. Can you speak to him?"
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"That's all right," said Ham. "If it makes Emily happy, it'll make me happy. I'll go home alone." He went over to Emily and gave her a gentle kiss. She seemed to turn away from him a little. As Ham went out, I went upstairs to see poor Barkis.
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I was able to help Peggotty with the arrangements for the funeral. Barkis was buried in Blunderstone churchyard, close to my mother and little brother. We discovered that Barkis had saved quite a lot of money, which he left to Peggotty and Daniel. So I knew that Peggotty would not need to work in future.
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Barkis lay silently there, not moving. We sat beside him all through that long night. In the early morning, he suddenly opened his eyes, reached out his hand to me, and said clearly, With a pleasant smile, "Barkis is willing!" And then he closed his eyes, and died.
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"He was a good man!" said Peggotty, with tears in her eyes. "I shall miss him!"
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"Master David, come outside a minute, would you?" he asked. I stepped outside, and Ham shut the door carefully. It was raining heavily, and as we stood on the lonely beach, I noticed how very pale Ham's face was.
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On the day before the funeral, we all arranged to meet at the old boat. It was my last evening in Yarmouth, as I was returning to London the following day. When I arrived, I was surprised to see that Ham and Emily were not there. Peggotty was feeling more cheerful now, and Daniel was talking to her. Just then Ham came to the door.
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"Ham!" I cried. "What's the matter?"
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"Master David!" he sobbed wildly. I had never seen such a strong man cry like that before.
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"It's Emily! I'd have died for her! I love her with all my heart! But she's run away and -- worse than that! Oh, how I wish God had saved her from this ruin!"
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I shall never forget his desperate face turned towards me, and the pain in his honest eyes.
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"You're educated, Master David!" he continued. "You know how to express yourself! Help me! How can I ever explain to him in there? He loves her even more than I do!"
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"Read it, sir," said Daniel, his face pale and trembling and his eyes wild. "Read it slowly, please."
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The room was completely silent as I read aloud:
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I saw the door open, and tried to stop Ham speaking, but it was too late. Daniel Peggotty came out, and when he saw us, he seemed to realize immediately what we were talking about. The expression on his face changed in a moment, and he pulled us both back inside. I found myself with a letter in my hand which Ham had given me.
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Please, please, forgive me for running away and leaving you. When you see this, I'll be far away. I shall never return to my dear home unless he marries me and brings me back as a lady. Oh, I'm so sorry, and so ashamed! I know this will break your heart, but believe me, I'm not good enough for you! I'm too wicked. Tell Uncle I'll always love him, even if he can never love me again. And I'll always think of you, dear Ham, even if you hate me for what I've done. Forgive me, and goodbye!
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Dear Ham,
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Emily
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Daniel did not move for a long time after I had finished reading. I took his hand, but he did not notice. Suddenly he appeared to wake up, and said in a low voice,
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"Who's the man? I want to know his name."
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Ham looked quickly at me, and I felt a shock run through my whole body. I fell on to a chair and could not speak.
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"Don't listen, Master David," Ham said, hesitating, "we don't blame you for it." Peggotty put her arm round my neck, but I could not move. "A -- gentleman's been here very often recently," continued Ham in a broken voice, "and -- today people saw Emily driving off with him in his coach!"
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"Tell me!" cried Daniel wildly. "Is his name Steerforth?"
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After a moment Daniel spoke. He looked suddenly much older. "I wish I'd drowned him when I had the chance! But it's too late now. There's no peace for me here while my dear girl is away. I'm going to look for her, and bring her back home. Don't any of you try to stop me! Ham, you must stay here in Yarmouth. Keep a light always burning in the window of this house, so that if the poor girl ever comes back, she can find her way home across the sand. I'm going to London, and France, and all over the world if necessary. I'm prepared to spend my whole life travelling until I find her. If anything happens to me, if I don't come back, tell her I forgive her -- tell her my love for her is unchanged!"
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"It is!" replied Ham just as wildly, "and I'm sorry, Master David, but he's the wickedest man I've ever known!"
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And although we all tried hard to persuade him to stay, he refused to listen. He took his coat, hat, bag and stick, and stepped out into the darkness. We watched him walking along the London road, until he disappeared from sight. I often thought of that lonely figure in the next few weeks and months, walking through strange streets in foreign cities, looking for his adopted child. When I thought of him, I remembered his last words to us: If anything happens to me, if I don't come back, tell her forgive her -- tell her my love for her is unchanged!
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