"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
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"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
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A preacher is buying a parrot.
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"Oh absolutely. He's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
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"I fall off my perch, you stupid fool!" screeched the parrot.
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"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
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