"I'd be happy to take you," the Queen said. "Twopence a week, and jam every other day."
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"I'm pleased I was able to catch it for you," Alice said, as she helped the Queen to put on her shawl again. "Am I speaking to the White Queen?" she added politely.
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Alice carefully took out the brush and pinned up the Queen's hair more tidily. "There, you look better now," she said. "But really you should have a lady's maid."
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"The hairbrush is lost in it somewhere," the Queen said unhappily.
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She caught the shawl as she spoke, and looked around for the owner. A moment later the White Queen came running wildly through the wood. Alice went to meet her with the shawl.
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"But it can't go straight, you know, if you pin it all on one side," Alice said, as she gently put it right for her. "And I'm afraid your hair is terribly untidy."
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"Yes," said the Queen, as she pulled helplessly at her shawl. "Oh dear! I don't know what's the matter with my shawl today. I think it's angry with me. I've pinned it here, and I've pinned it there, but it's just not happy."
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"No, it isn't," said the Queen. "It's jam every other day. Today isn't any other day, you know."
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"It must be 'jam today' sometimes," Alice argued.
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"Live backwards!" Alice repeated, in great surprise. "I never heard of anybody doing that."
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"I don't want you to employ me," Alice said, laughing. "And I don't like jam."
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"That's because we live backwards here," explained the Queen kindly. "It's always a little difficult at first."
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"It's very good jam," said the Queen.
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"I don't understand that," said Alice, very puzzled.
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"Well, I don't want any today, thank you."
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"But there's one very useful thing about it," the Queen went on, "you can remember things both ways."
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"I only remember things one way," Alice said. "I can't remember things before they happen."
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"But you can't have jam today," the Queen said. "It's jam tomorrow and jam yesterday -- but never jam today."
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"That's not very useful," said the Queen. "I can remember things that happened the week after next. For example, the King's Messenger is in prison now, but he hasn't done anything wrong yet. His crime will come much later."
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"But what happens if there is no crime," asked Alice, "and he doesn't do anything wrong at all? That seems a strange way of --"
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At that moment the Queen began to scream very loudly, and to shake her hand around in the air. "Oh, oh!" she shouted. "My finger's bleeding! Oh, oh, oh!"
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"I haven't cut it yet," the Queen said, "but I soon shall -- oh, oh, oh!"
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Alice put her hands over her ears. "What is the matter?" she said, in between the Queen's screams. "Have you cut your finger?"
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"Take care!" cried Alice. "You're holding it wrong!" She tried to help the Queen, but it was too late -- the pin had already gone deep into the Queen's finger.
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"When I fasten my shawl again," the Queen said unhappily, "one of the pins will come out and -- oh, oh!" As she said the words, one of her shawl pins came undone and she quickly took hold of it, trying to fasten it again.
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"When do you think you will do it?" Alice asked, trying not to laugh.
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"That explains the bleeding, you see," the Queen said to Alice with a smile. "Now you understand the way things happen here."
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"But why don't you scream now?" Alice asked, holding her hands ready to put over her ears again.
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Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said. "Nobody can believe impossible things."
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"I've done all the screaming already," said the Queen. "Why do it all again?"
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"It's very difficult to believe," Alice said, "that life can happen backwards."
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"Try to believe something a bit easier," said the Queen helpfully. "For example, I'm a hundred and one years old."
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"Can't you?" the Queen said, shaking her head sadly. "Try again. Put your hands together and shut your eyes."
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"I can't believe that!" said Alice.
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"Perhaps you don't work hard enough at it," said the Queen. "When I was a child, I worked at it for an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. There goes my shawl again!"
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The pins had come undone again as she spoke, and a sudden wind blew her shawl across a little brook. The Queen went flying after it, and managed to catch it. "I've got it!" she called happily. "Now you will see me pin it on again, all by myself."
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"Then I hope your finger is better now?" Alice said very politely, as she crossed the brook after the Queen.
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"Oh, much better!" cried the Queen, her voice getting higher and higher as she went on. "Much better! Be-e-e-ter! Be-e-eh!" The last word sounded very like the sound that a sheep makes, and Alice looked at the Queen in surprise.
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And indeed, the Queen was now covered in a thick woolly coat, and… Alice closed her eyes, then opened them again. She couldn't understand what had happened at all. The wood had disappeared, and she was in a little dark shop-and it re-ally was a sheep in front of her, wearing large glasses and sit-ting calmly on a chair, knitting.
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"I'm not sure at the moment," Alice said gently. "May I look round first?"
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"What do you want to buy?" the Sheep said at last, looking up for a moment from her knitting.
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She began to walk round the shop, looking at everything. But every time she looked hard at something, it seemed to move and then appear again a moment later in a different place. So it was difficult to see clearly what was there. She went on walking, and soon realized that the shop was much bigger than she had thought.
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"Oh, what a pity!" said Alice. "I would like to take some home. They look so pretty."
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"What a strange shop!" Alice said. "I wish things would keep still!"
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A few minutes later the shop became even stranger, because Alice found herself walking beside a large lake, with tall green plants growing round the edge. She put out her hand to pick some, but the plants disappeared when she touched them.
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"But you must eat them both, if you buy two," said the Sheep.
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"There are lots of other things here," said the Sheep. "But you must decide what you want to buy."
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"I would like to buy an egg, please," Alice said. "How much do they cost?"
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"To buy!" Alice said, jumping a little in surprise. The lake had gone, and she was back in the little dark shop. The Sheep was still knitting, and was looking at her crossly over the top of her glasses.
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"So two are cheaper than one?" Alice said in a surprised voice, taking out her purse.
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"Then I'll have one, please," said Alice, giving the Sheep fivepence.
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"Fivepence for one, twopence for two," the Sheep replied.
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So she went on, wondering more and more at every step. After a while everything had turned into a tree, and she thought that the egg would soon do the same.
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The end of the shop was very dark, and was crowded with tables and chairs. Alice could see the egg, but she never seemed to get near it. She almost fell over a chair, and then realized that it was not a chair at all, but a small tree. "Why are trees growing here?" she wondered. "This is the strangest shop that I ever saw! And now here's a little brook as well!"
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The Sheep took the money, then said, "You must get it yourself, you know. It's at the end of the shop."
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