Part 2 Chapter 46

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And then at noon on Tuesday, July sixth, the station platform of the railroad running from Fonda to Utica, withRoberta stepping down from the train which came south from Biltz to await Clyde, for the train that was to takethem to Utica was not due for another half hour. And fifteen minutes later Clyde himself coming from a sidestreet and approaching the station from the south, from which position Roberta could not see him but fromwhere, after turning the west corner of the depot and stationing himself behind a pile of crates, he could see her.
How thin and pale indeed! By contrast with Sondra, how illy-dressed in the blue traveling suit and small brownhat with which she had equipped herself for this occasion--the promise of a restricted and difficult life ascontrasted with that offered by Sondra. And she was thinking of compelling him to give up Sondra in order tomarry her, and from which union he might never be able to extricate himself until such time as would makeSondra and all she represented a mere recollection. The difference between the attitudes of these two girls--Sondra with everything offering all--asking nothing of him; Roberta, with nothing, asking all.
A feeling of dark and bitter resentment swept over him and he could not help but feel sympathetic toward thatunknown man at Pass Lake and secretly wish that he had been successful. Perhaps he, too, had been confrontedby a situation just like this. And perhaps he had done right, too, after all, and that was why it had not been foundout. His nerves twitched. His eyes were somber, resentful and yet nervous. Could it not happen againsuccessfully in this case
But here he was now upon the same platform with her as the result of her persistent and illogical demands, andhe must be thinking how, and boldly, he must carry out the plans which, for four days, or ever since he hadtelephoned her, and in a dimmer way for the ten preceding those, he had been planning. This settled course mustnot be interfered with now. He must act! He must not let fear influence him to anything less than he had nowplanned.
And so it was that he now stepped forth in order that she might see him, at the same time giving her a wise andseemingly friendly and informative look as if to say, "You see I am here." But behind the look! If only she couldhave pierced beneath the surface and sensed that dark and tortured mood, how speedily she would have fled. Butnow seeing him actually present, a heavy shadow that was lurking in her eyes lifted, the somewhat down-turnedcorners of her mouth reversed themselves, and without appearing to recognize him, she nevertheless brightenedand at once proceeded to the window to purchase her ticket to Utica, as he had instructed her to do.
And she was now thinking that at last, at last he had come. And he was going to take her away. And hence a kindof gratefulness for this welling up in her. For they were to be together for seven or eight months at the least. Andwhile it might take tact and patience to adjust things, still it might and probably could be done. From now on shemust be the very soul of caution--not do or say anything that would irritate him in any way, since naturally hewould not be in the best mood because of this. But he must have changed some--perhaps he was seeing her in amore kindly light--sympathizing with her a little, since he now appeared at last to have most gracefully andgenially succumbed to the unavoidable. And at the same time noting his light gray suit, his new straw hat, hisbrightly polished shoes and the dark tan suitcase and (strange, equivocal, frivolous erraticism of his in thisinstance) the tripod of a recently purchased camera together with his tennis racquet in its canvas case strapped tothe side--more than anything to conceal the initials C. G.--she was seized with much of her old-time mood anddesire in regard to his looks and temperament. He was still, and despite his present indifference to her, her Clyde.
Having seen her secure her ticket, he now went to get his own, and then, with another knowing look in herdirection, which said that everything was now all right, he returned to the eastern end of the platform, while shereturned to her position at the forward end.
Why was that old man in that old brown winter suit and hat and carrying that bird cage in a brown paper lookingat him so? Could he sense anything? Did he know him? Had he ever worked in Lycurgus or seen him before?)He was going to buy a second straw hat in Utica to-day--he must remember that--a straw hat with a Utica label,which he would wear instead of his present one. Then, when she was not looking, he would put the old one in hisbag with his other things. That was why he would have to leave her for a little while after they reached Utica--atthe depot or library or somewhere--perhaps as was his first plan, take her to some small hotel somewhere andregister as Mr. and Mrs. Carl Graham or Clifford Golden or Gehring (there was a girl in the factory by thatname) so if they were ever traced in any way, it would be assumed that she had gone away with some man of that name.
That whistle of a train afar off. It must be coming now. His watch said twelve-twenty-seven.)And again he must decide what his manner toward her in Utica must be--whether very cordial or the opposite.
For over the telephone, of course, he had talked very soft and genial-like because he had to. Perhaps it would bebest to keep that up, otherwise she might become angry or suspicious or stubborn and that would make it hard.
Would that train never get here?)At the same time it was going to be very hard on him to be so very pleasant when, after all, she was driving himas she was--expecting him to do all that she was asking him to do and yet be nice to her. Damn! And yet if heweren't?--Supposing she should sense something of his thoughts in connection with this--really refuse to gothrough with it this way and spoil his plans.
If only his knees and hands wouldn't tremble so at times.)But no, how was she to be able to detect anything of that kind, when he himself had not quite made up his mindas to whether he would be able to go through with it or not? He only knew he was not going away with her, andthat was all there was to that. He might not upset the boat, as he had decided on the day before, but just the samehe was not going away with her.
But here now was the train. And there was Roberta lifting her bag. Was it too heavy for her in her present state
It probably was. Well, too bad. It was very hot to-day, too. At any rate he would help her with it later, when theywere where no one could see them. She was looking toward him to be sure he was getting on--so like her thesedays, in her suspicious, doubtful mood in regard to him. But here was a seat in the rear of the car on the shadyside, too. That was not so bad. He would settle himself comfortably and look out. For just outside Fonda, a mileor two beyond, was that same Mohawk that ran through Lycurgus and past the factory, and along the banks ofwhich the year before, he and Roberta had walked about this time. But the memory of that being far frompleasant now, he turned his eyes to a paper he had bought, and behind which he could shield himself as much aspossible, while he once more began to observe the details of the more inward scene which now so much moreconcerned him--the nature of the lake country around Big Bittern, which ever since that final importantconversation with Roberta over the telephone, had been interesting him more than any other geography of theworld.
For on Friday, after the conversation, he had stopped in at the Lycurgus House and secured three differentfolders relating to hotels, lodges, inns and other camps in the more remote region beyond Big Bittern and LongLake. (If only there were some way to get to one of those completely deserted lakes described by that guide atBig Bittern--only, perhaps, there might not be any row-boats on any of these lakes at all!) And again onSaturday, had he not secured four more circulars from the rack at the depot (they were in his pocket now)? Hadthey not proved how many small lakes and inns there were along this same railroad, which ran north to BigBittern, to which he and Roberta might resort for a day or two if she would--a night, anyhow, before going to BigBittern and Grass Lake--had he not noted that in particular--a beautiful lake it had said--near the station, and withat least three attractive lodges or country home inns where two could stay for as low as twenty dollars a week.
That meant that two could stay for one night surely for as little as five dollars. It must be so surely--and so hewas going to say to her, as he had already planned these several days, that she needed a little rest before goingaway to a strange place. That it would not cost very much--about fifteen dollars for fares and all, so the circularssaid--if they went to Grass Lake for a night--this same night after reaching Utica--or on the morrow, anyhow.
And he would have to picture it all to her as a sort of honeymoon journey--a little pleasant outing--before gettingmarried. And it would not do to succumb to any plan of hers to get married before they did this--that wouldnever do.
Those five birds winging toward that patch of trees over there-- below that hill.)It certainly would not do to go direct to Big Bittern from Utica for a boat ride--just one day--seventy miles. Thatwould not sound right to her, or to any one. It would make her suspicious, maybe. It might be better, since hewould have to get away from her to buy a hat in Utica, to spend this first night there at some inexpensive,inconspicuous hotel, and once there, suggest going up to Grass Lake. And from there they could go to BigBittern in the morning. He could say that Big Bittern was nicer--or that they would go down to Three Mile Bay-ahamlet really as he knew--where they could be married, but en route stop at Big Bittern as a sort of lark. Hewould say that he wanted to show her the lake--take some pictures of her and himself. He had brought his camerafor that and for other pictures of Sondra later.
The blackness of this plot of his
Those nine black and white cows on that green hillside.)But again, strapping that tripod along with his tennis racquet to the side of his suitcase, might not that causepeople to imagine that they were passing tourists from some distant point, maybe, and if they both disappeared,well, then, they were not people from anywhere around here, were they? Didn't the guide say that the water in thelake was all of seventy-five feet deep--like that water at Pass Lake? And as for Roberta's grip--oh, yes, whatabout that? He hadn't even thought about that as yet, really.
Those three automobiles out there running almost as fast as this train.)Well, in coming down from Grass Lake after one night there (he could say that he was going to marry her atThree Mile Bay at the north end of Greys Lake, where a minister lived whom he had met), he would induce herto leave her bag at that Gun Lodge station, where they took the bus over to Big Bittern, while he took his withhim. He could just say to some one--the boatman, maybe, or the driver, that he was taking his camera in his bag,and ask where the best views were. Or maybe a lunch. Was that not a better idea--to take a lunch and so deceiveRoberta, too, perhaps? And that would tend to mislead the driver, also, would it not? People did carry cameras inbags when they went out on lakes, at times. At any rate it was most necessary for him to carry his bag in thisinstance. Else why the plan to go south to that island and from thence through the woods
Oh, the grimness and the terror of this plan! Could he really execute it?)But that strange cry of that bird at Big Bittern. He had not liked that, or seeing that guide up there who mightremember him now. He had not talked to him at all--had not even gotten out of the car, but had only looked out at him through the window; and in so far as he could recall the guide had not even once looked at him--hadmerely talked to Grant Cranston and Harley Baggott, who had gotten out and had done all the talking. Butsupposing this guide should be there and remember him? But how could that be when he really had not seenhim? This guide would probably not remember him at all--might not even be there. But why should his handsand face be damp all the time now--wet almost, and cold--his knees shaky
This train was following the exact curve of this stream--and last summer he and Roberta. But no--)As soon as they reached Utica now this was the way he would do--and must keep it well in mind and not getrattled in any way. He must not--he must not. He must let her walk up the street before him, say a hundred feet orso between them, so that no one would think he was following her, of course. And then when they were quitealone somewhere he would catch up with her and explain all about this--be very nice as though he cared for heras much as ever now--he would have to--if he were to get her to do as he wanted. And then--and then, oh, yes,have her wait while he went for that extra straw hat that he was going to--well, leave on the water, maybe. Andthe oars, too, of course. And her hat--and--well--(The long, sad sounding whistle of this train. Damn. He was getting nervous already.)But before going to the hotel, he must go back to the depot and put his new hat in the bag, or better yet, carry itwhile he looked for the sort of hotel he wanted, and then, before going to Roberta, take the hat and put it in hisbag. Then he would go and find her and have her come to the entrance of the hotel he had found and wait forhim, while he got the bags. And, of course, if there was no one around or very few, they would enter together,only she could wait in the ladies' parlor somewhere, while he went and registered as Charles Golden, maybe, thistime. And then, well, in the morning, if she agreed, or to-night, for that matter, if there were any trains--he wouldhave to find out about that--they could go up to Grass Lake in separate cars until they were past Twelfth Lakeand Sharon, at any rate.
The beautiful Cranston Lodge there and Sondra.)And then--and then--(That big red barn and that small white house near it. And that wind-mill. So like those houses and barns that hehad seen out there in Illinois and Missouri. And Chicago, too.)And at the same time Roberta in her car forward thinking that Clyde had not appeared so very unfriendly to her.
To be sure, it was hard on him, making him leave Lycurgus in this way, and when he might be enjoying himselfas he wished to. But on the other hand, here was she--and there was no other way for her to be. She must be verygenial and yet not put herself forward too much or in his way. And yet she must not be too receding or weak,either, for, after all, Clyde was the one who had placed her in this position. And it was only fair, and little enoughfor him to do. She would have a baby to look after in the future, and all that trouble to go through with from nowon. And later, she would have to explain to her parents this whole mysterious proceeding, which covered herpresent disappearance and marriage, if Clyde really did marry her now. But she must insist upon that--and soon-inUtica, perhaps--certainly at the very next place they went to--and get a copy of her marriage certificate, too,and keep it for her own as well as the baby's sake. He could get a divorce as he pleased after that. She would still be Mrs. Griffiths. And Clyde's baby and hers would be a Griffiths, too. That was something.
How beautiful the little river was. It reminded her of the Mohawk and the walks she and he had taken lastsummer when they first met. Oh, last summer! And now this!)And they would settle somewhere--in one or two rooms, no doubt. Where, she wondered--in what town or city
How far away from Lycurgus or Biltz--the farther from Biltz the better, although she would like to see hermother and father again, and soon--as soon as she safely could. But what matter, as long as they were goingaway together and she was to be married
Had he noticed her blue suit and little brown hat? And had he thought she looked at all attractive compared tothose rich girls with whom he was always running? She must be very tactful--not irritate him in any way. But-oh,the happy life they could have if only--if only he cared for her a little--just a little . . .
And then Utica, and on a quiet street Clyde catching up with Roberta, his expression a mixture of innocentgeniality and good- will, tempered by worry and opposition, which was really a mask for the fear of the deed thathe himself was contemplating--his power to execute it--the consequences in case he failed.
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