But the remedy he purchased failed to work. And because of nausea and his advice she had not gone to thefactory, but lay about worrying. But, no saving result appearing, she began to take two pills every hour instead ofone--eager at any cost to escape the fate which seemingly had overtaken her. And this made her exceedinglysick--so much so that when Clyde arrived at six-thirty he was really moved by her deathly white face, drawncheeks and large and nervous eyes, the pupils of which were unduly dilated. Obviously she was facing a crisis,and because of him, and, while it frightened, at the same time it made him sorry for her. Still, so confused andperplexed was he by the problem which her unchanged state presented to him that his mind now leaped forwardto the various phases and eventualities of such a failure as this. The need of additional advice or service of somephysician somewhere! But where and how and who? And besides, as he now asked himself, where was he to obtain the money in any such event
Plainly in view of no other inspiration it was necessary for him to return to the druggist at once and there inquireif there was anything else--some other drug or some other thing that one might do. Or if not that, then some low-priced shady doctor somewhere, who, for a small fee, or a promise of payments on time, would help in this case.
Yet even though this other matter was so important--tragic almost--once outside his spirits lifted slightly. For henow recalled that he had an appointment with Sondra at the Cranstons', where at nine he and she, along with anumber of others, were to meet and play about as usual--a party. Yet once at the Cranstons', and despite the keenallurement of Sondra, he could not keep his mind off Roberta's state, which rose before him as a specter.
Supposing now any one of those whom he found gathered here--Nadine Harriet, Perley Haynes, Violet Taylor,Jill Trumbull, Bella, Bertine, and Sondra, should gain the least inkling of the scene he had just witnessed? Inspite of Sondra at the piano throwing him a welcoming smile over her shoulder as he entered, his thoughts wereon Roberta. He must go around there again after this was over, to see how she was and so relieve his own mindin case she were better. In case she was not, he must write to Ratterer at once for advice.
In spite of his distress he was trying to appear as gay and unconcerned as ever--dancing first with Perley Haynesand then with Nadine and finally, while waiting for a chance to dance with Sondra, he approached a group whowere trying to help Vanda Steele solve a new scenery puzzle and asserted that he could read messages written onpaper and sealed in envelopes (the old serial letter trick which he had found explained in an ancient book ofparlor tricks discovered on a shelf at the Peytons'). It had been his plan to use it before in order to give himself anair of ease and cleverness, but to-night he was using it to take his mind off the greater problem that was weighingon him. And, although with the aid of Nadine Harriet, whom he took into his confidence, he succeeded inthoroughly mystifying the others, still his mind was not quite on it. Roberta was always there. Supposingsomething should really be wrong with her and he could not get her out of it. She might even expect him tomarry her, so fearful was she of her parents and people. What would he do then? He would lose the beautifulSondra and she might even come to know how and why he had lost her. But that would be wild of Roberta toexpect him to do that. He would not do it. He could not do it.
One thing was certain. He must get her out of this. He must! But how? How
And although at twelve o'clock Sondra signaled that she was ready to go and that if he chose he mightaccompany her to her door (and even stop in for a few moments) and although once there, in the shade of apergola which ornamented the front gate, she had allowed him to kiss her and told him that she was beginning tothink he was the nicest ever and that the following spring when the family moved to Twelfth Lake she was goingto see if she couldn't think of some way by which she could arrange to have him there over week-ends, still,because of this pressing problem in connection with Roberta, Clyde was so worried that he was not able tocompletely enjoy this new and to him exquisitely thrilling demonstration of affection on her part--this new andamazing social and emotional victory of his.
He must send that letter to Ratterer to-night. But before that he must return to Roberta as he had promised andfind out if she was better. And after that he must go over to Schenectady in the morning, sure, to see the druggistover there. For something must be done about this unless she were better to-night.
And so, with Sondra's kisses thrilling on his lips, he left her to go to Roberta, whose white face and troubled eyestold him as he entered her room that no change had taken place. If anything she was worse and more distressedthan before, the larger dosage having weakened her to the point of positive illness. However, as she said, nothingmattered if only she could get out of this--that she would almost be willing to die rather than face theconsequences. And Clyde, realizing what she meant and being so sincerely concerned for himself, appeared inpart distressed for her. However, his previous indifference and the manner in which he had walked off and lefther alone this very evening prevented her from feeling that there was any abiding concern in him for her now.
And this grieved her terribly. For she sensed now that he did not really care for her any more, even though nowhe was saying that she mustn't worry and that it was likely that if these didn't work he would get something elsethat would; that he was going back to the druggist at Schenectady the first thing in the morning to see if therewasn't something else that he could suggest.
But the Gilpins had no telephone, and since he never ventured to call at her room during the day and he neverpermitted her to call him at Mrs. Peyton's, his plan in this instance was to pass by the following morning beforework. If she were all right, the two front shades would be raised to the top; if not, then lowered to the center. Inthat case he would depart for Schenectady at once, telephoning Mr. Liggett that he had some outside duties toperform.
Just the same, both were terribly depressed and fearful as to what this should mean for each of them. Clyde couldnot quite assure himself that, in the event that Roberta was not extricated, he would be able to escape withoutindemnifying her in some form which might not mean just temporary efforts to aid her, but something more-marriage,possibly--since already she had reminded him that he had promised to see her through. But what hadhe really meant by that at the time that he said it, he now asked himself. Not marriage, most certainly, since histhought was not that he had ever wanted to marry her, but rather just to play with her happily in love, although,as he well knew, she had no such conception of his eager mood at that time. He was compelled to admit tohimself that she had probably thought his intentions were more serious or she would not have submitted to him atall.
But reaching home, and after writing and mailing the letter to Ratterer, Clyde passed a troubled night. Nextmorning he paid a visit to the druggist at Schenectady, the curtains of Roberta's windows having been lowered tothe center when he passed. But on this occasion the latter had no additional aid to offer other than the advisabilityof a hot and hence weakening bath, which he had failed to mention in the first instance. Also some wearyingform of physical exercise. But noting Clyde's troubled expression and judging that the situation was causing himgreat worry, he observed: "Of course, the fact that your wife has skipped a month doesn't mean that there isanything seriously wrong, you know. Women do that sometimes. Anyhow, you can't ever be sure until thesecond month has passed. Any doctor will tell you that. If she's nervous, let her try something like this. But evenif it fails to work, you can't be positive. She might be all right next month just the same."Thinly cheered by this information, Clyde was about to depart, for Roberta might be wrong. He and she might beworrying needlessly. Still--he was brought up with a round turn as he thought of it--there might be real danger,and waiting until the end of the second period would only mean that a whole month had elapsed and nothinghelpful accomplished--a freezing thought. In consequence he now observed: "In case things don't come right,you don't happen to know of a doctor she could go to, do you? This is rather a serious business for both of us,and I'd like to get her out of it if I could."Something about the way in which Clyde said this--his extreme nervousness as well as his willingness to indulgein a form of malpractice which the pharmacist by some logic all his own considered very different from justswallowing a preparation intended to achieve the same result--caused him to look suspiciously at Clyde, thethought stirring in his brain that very likely after all Clyde was not married, also that this was one of thoseyouthful affairs which spelled license and future difficulty for some unsophisticated girl. Hence his mood nowchanged, and instead of being willing to assist, he now said coolly: "Well, there may be a doctor around here, butif so I don't know. And I wouldn't undertake to send any one to a doctor like that. It's against the law. It wouldcertainly go hard with any doctor around here who was caught doing that sort of thing. That's not to say, though,that you aren't at liberty to look around for yourself, if you want to," he added gravely, giving Clyde a suspiciousand examining glance, and deciding it were best if he had nothing further to do with such a person.
Clyde therefore returned to Roberta with the same prescription renewed, although she had most decidedlyprotested that, since the first box had not worked, it was useless to get more. But since he insisted, she waswilling to try the drug the new way, although the argument that a cold or nerves was the possible cause was onlysufficient to convince her that Clyde was at the end of his resources in so far as she was concerned, or if not that,he was far from being alive to the import of this both to herself and to him. And supposing this new treatment didnot work, then what? Was he going to stop now and let the thing rest there
Yet so peculiar was Clyde's nature that in the face of his fears in regard to his future, and because it was far frompleasant to be harried in this way and an infringement on his other interests, the assurance that the delay of amonth might not prove fatal was sufficient to cause him to be willing to wait, and that rather indifferently, forthat length of time. Roberta might be wrong. She might be making all this trouble for nothing. He must see howshe felt after she had tried this new way.
But the treatment failed. Despite the fact that in her distress Roberta returned to the factory in order to wearyherself, until all the girls in the department assured her that she must be ill-- that she should not be working whenshe looked and plainly felt so bad--still nothing came of it. And the fact that Clyde could dream of falling backon the assurance of the druggist that a first month's lapse was of no import only aggravated and frightened herthe more.
The truth was that in this crisis he was as interesting an illustration of the enormous handicaps imposed byignorance, youth, poverty and fear as one could have found. Technically he did not even know the meaning ofthe word "midwife," or the nature of the services performed by her. (And there were three here in Lycurgus atthis time in the foreign family section.) Again, he had been in Lycurgus so short a time, and apart from the youngsociety men and Dillard whom he had cut, and the various department heads at the factory, he knew no one--anoccasional barber, haberdasher, cigar dealer and the like, the majority of whom, as he saw them, were either toodull or too ignorant for his purpose.
One thing, however, which caused him to pause before ever he decided to look up a physician was the problemof who was to approach him and how. To go himself was simply out of the question. In the first place, he lookedtoo much like Gilbert Griffiths, who was decidedly too well-known here and for whom he might be mistaken.
Next, it was unquestionable that, being as well-dressed as he was, the physician would want to charge him more,maybe, than he could afford and ask him all sorts of embarrassing questions, whereas if it could be arranged through some one else--the details explained before ever Roberta was sent--Why not Roberta herself! Why not
She looked so simple and innocent and unassuming and appealing at all times. And in such a situation as this, asdepressed and downcast as she was, well . . . For after all, as he now casuistically argued with himself, it was sheand not he who was facing the immediate problem which had to be solved.
And again, as it now came to him, would she not be able to get it done cheaper? For looking as she did now, sodistrait--If only he could get her to say that she had been deserted by some young man, whose name she wouldrefuse to divulge, of course, well, what physician seeing a girl like her alone and in such a state--no one to lookafter her--would refuse her? It might even be that he would help her out for nothing. Who could tell? And thatwould leave him clear of it all.
And in consequence he now approached Roberta, intending to prepare her for the suggestion that, assuming thathe could provide a physician and the nature of his position being what it was, she must speak for herself. Butbefore he had spoken she at once inquired of him as to what, if anything, more he had heard or done. Wasn'tsome other remedy sold somewhere? And this giving him the opportunity he desired, he explained: "Well, I'veasked around and looked into most of the drug-stores and they tell me if this one won't work that none will. Thatleaves me sorta stumped now, unless you're willing to go and see a doctor. But the trouble with that is they'rehard to find--the ones who'll do anything and keep their mouths shut. I've talked with several fellows withoutsaying who it's for, of course, but it ain't so easy to get one around here, because they are all too much afraid. It'sagainst the law, you see. But what I want to know now is, supposing I find a doctor who would do it, will youhave the nerve to go and see him and tell him what the trouble is? That's what I want to know."She looked at him dazedly, not quite grasping that he was hinting that she was to go entirely alone, but ratherassuming that of course he meant to go with her. Then, her mind concentrating nervously upon the necessity offacing a doctor in his company, she first exclaimed: "Oh, dear, isn't it terrible to think of us having to go to adoctor in this way? Then he'll know all about us, won't he? And besides it's dangerous, isn't it, although I don'tsuppose it could be much worse than those old pills." She went off into more intimate inquiries as to what wasdone and how, but Clyde could not enlighten her.
Oh, don't be getting nervous over that now," he said. "It isn't anything that's going to hurt you, I know. Besideswe'll be lucky if we find some one to do it. What I want to know is if I do find a doctor, will you be willing to goto him alone?" She started as if struck, but unabashed now he went on, "As things stand with me here, I can't gowith you, that's sure. I'm too well known around here, and besides I look too much like Gilbert and he's known toeverybody. If I should be mistaken for him, or be taken for his cousin or relative, well, then the jig's up."His eyes were not only an epitome of how wretched he would feel were he exposed to all Lycurgus for what hewas, but also in them lurked a shadow of the shabby role he was attempting to play in connection with her--inhiding thus completely behind her necessity. And yet so tortured was he by the fear of what was about to befallhim in case he did not succeed in so doing, that he was now prepared, whatever Roberta might think or say, tostand his ground. But Roberta, sensing only the fact that he was thinking of sending her alone, now exclaimedincredulously: "Not alone, Clyde! Oh, no, I couldn't do that! Oh, dear, no! Why, I'd be frightened to death. Oh,dear, no. Why, I'd be so frightened I wouldn't know what to do. Just think how I'd feel, trying to explain to himalone. I just couldn't do that. Besides, how would I know what to say--how to begin? You'll just have to go withme at first, that's all, and explain, or I never can go--I don't care what happens." Her eyes were round and excited and her face, while registering all the depression and fear that had recently been there, was transfigured bydefinite opposition.
But Clyde was not to be shaken either.
You know how it is with me here, Bert. I can't go, and that's all there is to it. Why, supposing I were seen-supposingsome one should recognize me? What then? You know how much I've been going around here sinceI've been here. Why, it's crazy to think that I could go. Besides, it will be a lot easier for you than for me. Nodoctor's going to think anything much of your coming to him, especially if you're alone. He'll just think you'resome one who's got in trouble and with no one to help you. But if I go, and it should be any one who knowsanything about the Griffiths, there'd be the deuce to pay. Right off he'd think I was stuffed with money. Besides,if I didn't do just what he wanted me to do afterwards, he could go to my uncle, or my cousin, and then, goodnight! That would be the end of me. And if I lost my place here now, and with no money and that kind of scandalconnected with me, where do you suppose I would be after that, or you either? I certainly couldn't look after youthen. And then what would you do? I should think you'd wake up and see what a tough proposition this is. Myname can't be pulled into this without trouble for both of us. It's got to be kept out, that's all, and the only way forme to keep it out is for me to stay away from any doctor. Besides, he'd feel a lot sorrier for you than he would forme. You can't tell me!"His eyes were distressed and determined, and, as Roberta could gather from his manner, a certain hardness, or atleast defiance, the result of fright, showed in every gesture. He was determined to protect his own name, comewhat might--a fact which, because of her own acquiescence up to this time, still carried great weight with her.
Oh, dear! dear!" she exclaimed, nervously and sadly now, the growing and drastic terror of the situationdawning upon her, "I don't see how we are to do then. I really don't. For I can't do that and that's all there is to it.
It's all so hard--so terrible. I'd feel too much ashamed and frightened to ever go alone."But even as she said this she began to feel that she might, and even would, go alone, if must be. For what elsewas there to do? And how was she to compel him, in the face of his own fears and dangers, to jeopardize hisposition here? He began once more, in self-defense more than from any other motive
Besides, unless this thing isn't going to cost very much, I don't see how I'm going to get by with it anyhow, Bert.
I really don't. I don't make so very much, you know--only twenty-five dollars up to now." (Necessity was at lastcompelling him to speak frankly with Roberta.) "And I haven't saved anything--not a cent. And you know why aswell as I do. We spent the most of it together. Besides if I go and he thought I had money, he might want tocharge me more than I could possibly dig up. But if you go and just tell him how things are--and that you haven'tgot anything--if you'd only say I'd run away or something, see--"He paused because, as he said it, he saw a flicker of shame, contempt, despair at being connected with anythingso cheap and shabby, pass over Roberta's face. And yet in spite of this sly and yet muddy tergiversation on hispart--so great is the compelling and enlightening power of necessity--she could still see that there was some pointto his argument. He might be trying to use her as a foil, a mask, behind which he, and she too for that matter, wasattempting to hide. But just the same, shameful as it was, here were the stark, bald headlands of fact, and at theirbase the thrashing, destroying waves of necessity. She heard him say: "You wouldn't have to give your right name, you know, or where you came from. I don't intend to pick out any doctor right around here, see. Then, ifyou'd tell him you didn't have much money--just your weekly salary--"She sat down weakly to think, the while this persuasive trickery proceeded from him--the import of most of hisargument going straight home. For as false and morally meretricious as this whole plan was, still, as she couldsee for herself, her own as well as Clyde's situation was desperate. And as honest and punctilious as she mightordinarily be in the matter of truth-telling and honest-dealing, plainly this was one of those whirling tempests offact and reality in which the ordinary charts and compasses of moral measurement were for the time being ofsmall use.
And so, insisting then that they go to some doctor far away, Utica or Albany, maybe--but still admitting by thisthat she would go--the conversation was dropped. And he having triumphed in the matter of excepting his ownpersonality from this, took heart to the extent, at least, of thinking that at once now, by some hook or crook, hemust find a doctor to whom he could send her. Then his terrible troubles in connection with all this would beover. And after that she could go her way, as surely she must; then, seeing that he would have done all that hecould for her he would go his way to the glorious denouement that lay directly before him in case only this wereadjusted.