The ship sank. It made a sound like a monstrous metallicburp. Things bubbled at the surface and then vanished.
Everything was screaming: the sea, the wind, my heart. Fromthe lifeboat I saw something in the water.
I cried, "Richard Parker, is that you? It's so hard to see.
Oh, that this rain would stop! Richard Parker? Richard Parker?
Yes, it is you!"I could see his head. He was struggling to stay at thesurface of the water.
"Jesus, Mary, Muhammad and Vishnu, how good to seeyou, Richard Parker! Don't give up, please. Come to thelifeboat. Do you hear this whistle? TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE!
TREEEEEE! You heard right. Swim, swim! You're a strongswimmer. It's not a hundred feet."He had seen me. He looked panic-stricken. He startedswimming my way. The water about him was shifting wildly. Helooked small and helpless.
"Richard Parker, can you believe what has happened to us?
Tell me it's a bad dream. Tell me it's not real. Tell me I'm stillin my bunk on the Tsimtsumand I'm tossing and turning and soon I'll wake up from thisnightmare. Tell me I'm still happy. Mother, my tender guardianangel of wisdom, where are you? And you, Father, my lovingworrywart? And you, Ravi, dazzling hero of my childhood?
Vishnu preserve me, Allah protect me, Christ save me, I can'tbear it! TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE!"I was not wounded in any part of my body, but I hadnever experienced such intense pain, such a ripping of thenerves, such an ache of the heart.
He would not make it. He would drown. He was hardlymoving forward and his movements were weak. His nose andmouth kept dipping underwater. Only his eyes were steadily onme.
"What are you doing, Richard Parker? Don't you love life?
Keep swimming then! TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE!
Kick with your legs. Kick! Kick! Kick!"He stirred in the water and made to swim.
"And what of my extended family – birds, beasts andreptiles? They too have drowned. Every single thing I value inlife has been destroyed. And I am allowed no explanation? Iam to suffer hell without any account from heaven? In thatcase, what is the purpose of reason, Richard Parker? Is it nomore than to shine at practicalities – the getting of food,clothing and shelter? Why can't reason give greater answers?
Why can we throw a question further than we can pull in ananswer? Why such a vast net if there's so little fish to catch?"His head was barely above water. He was looking up, takingin the sky one last time. There was a lifebuoy in the boat witha rope tied to it. I took hold of it and waved it in the air.
"Do you see this lifebuoy, Richard Parker? Do you see it?
Catch hold of it! HUMPF! I'll try again. HUMPF!"He was too far. But the sight of the lifebuoy flying his waygave him hope. He revived and started beating the water withvigorous, desperate strokes.
"That's right! One, two. One, two. One, two. Breathe whenyou can. Watch for the waves. TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE!
TREEEEEE!"My heart was chilled to ice. I felt ill with grief. But therewas no time for frozen shock. It was shock in activity.
Something in me did not want to give up on life, was unwillingto let go, wanted to fight to the very end. Where that part ofme got the heart, I don't know.
"Isn't it ironic, Richard Parker? We're in hell yet still we'reafraid of immortality. Look how close you are! TREEEEEE.‘TREEEEEE! TREEEEEE.' Hurrah, hurrah! You've made it,Richard Parker, you've made it. Catch! HUMPF!"I threw the lifebuoy mightily. It fell in the water right in frontof him. With his last energies he stretched forward and tookhold of it.
"Hold on tight, I'll pull you in. Don't let go. Pull with youreyes while I pull with my hands. In a few seconds you'll beaboard and we'll be together. Wait a second. Together? We'llbe together? Have I gone mad?"I woke up to what I was doing. I yanked on the rope.
"Let go of that lifebuoy, Richard Parker! Let go, I said. Idon't want you here, do you understand? Go somewhere else.
Leave me alone. Get lost. Drown! Drown!"He was kicking vigorously with his legs. I grabbed an oar. Ithrust it at him, meaning to push him away. I missed and losthold of the oar.
I grabbed another oar. I dropped it in an oarlock and pulledas hard as I could, meaning to move the lifeboat away. All Iaccomplished was to turn the lifeboat a little, bringing one endcloser to Richard Parker.
I would hit him on the head! I lifted the oar in the air.
He was too fast. He reached up and pulled himself aboard.
"Oh my God!"Ravi was right. Truly I was to be the next goat. I had awet, trembling, half-drowned, heaving and coughingthree-year-old adult Bengal tiger in my lifeboat. Richard Parkerrose unsteadily to his feet on the tarpaulin, eyes blazing as theymet mine, ears laid tight to his head, all weapons drawn. Hishead was the size and colour of the lifebuoy, with teeth.
I turned around, stepped over the zebra and threw myselfoverboard.