The window?" I asked, staring two stories down.
I'd never really been afraid of heights per se, but being able to see all the details with such clarity madethe prospect less appealing. The angles of the rocks below were sharper than I would have imaginedthem.
Edward smiled. "It's the most convenient exit. If you're frightened, I can carry you.""We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?"He frowned slightly. "Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs___""Oh."Right. I was the monster now. I had to keep away from scents that might trigger my wild side. From thepeople that I loved in particular. Even the ones I didn't really know yet.
"Is Renesmee... okay... with Jacob there?" I whispered. I realized belatedly that it must havebeenJacob's heart I'd heard below. I listened hard again, but I could only hear the one steady pulse. "Hedoesn't like her much."Edward's lips tightened in an odd way. "Trust me, she is perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob isthinking.""Of course," I murmured, and looked at the ground again.
"Stalling?" he challenged.
"A little. I don't know how...."And I was very conscious of my family behind me, watching silently. Mostly silently. Emmett had alreadychuckled under his breath once. One mistake, and he'd be rolling on the floor. Then the jokes about theworld's only clumsy vampire would start....
Also, this dress—that Alice must have put me in sometime when I was too lost in the burning tonotice—was not what I would have picked out for either jumping or hunting. Tightly fitted ice-blue silk?
What did she think I would need it for? Was there a cocktail party later?
"Watch me," Edward said. And then, very casually, he stepped out of the tall, open window and fell.
I watched carefully, analyzing the angle at which he bent his knees to absorb the impact. The sound ofhis landing was very low—a muted thud that could have been a door softly closed, or a book gently laidon a table.
It didn't look hard.
Clenching my teeth as I concentrated, I tried to copy his casual step into empty air.
Ha! The ground seemed to move toward me so slowly that it was nothing at all to place my feet—whatshoes had Alice put me in? Stilettos? She'd lost her mind—to place mysilly shoes exactly right so thatlanding was no different than stepping one foot forward on a flat surface.
I absorbed the impact in the balls of my feet, not wanting to snap off the thin heels. My landing seemedjust as quiet as his. I grinned at him.
"Right. Easy."He smiled back. "Bella?""Yes?""That was quite graceful—even for a vampire."I considered that for a moment, and then I beamed. If he'd just been saying that, then Emmett wouldhave laughed. No one found his remark humorous, so it must have been true. It was the first time anyonehad ever applied the word graceful 'to me in my entire life... or, well, existence anyway.
"T/?an/cyou,"i told him.
And then I hooked the silver satin shoes off my feet one by one and lobbed them together back throughthe open window. A little too hard, maybe, but I heard someone catch them before they could damagethe paneling.
Alice grumbled, "Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance."Edward took my hand—I couldn't stop marveling at the smoothness, the comfortable temperature of hisskin—and darted through the backyard to the edge of the river. I went along with him effortlessly.
Everything physical seemed very simple.
"Are we swimming?" I asked him when we stopped beside the water.
"And ruin your pretty dress? No. We're jumping."I pursed my lips, considering. The river was about fifty yards wide here.
"You first," I said.
He touched my cheek, took two quick backward strides, and then ran back those two steps, launchinghimself from a flat stone firmly embedded in the riverbank. I studied the flash of movement as he arcedover the water, finally turning a somersault just before he disappeared into the thick trees on the otherside of the river.
"Show-off," I muttered, and heard his invisible laugh.
I backed up five paces, just in case, and took a deep breath.
Suddenly, I was anxious again. Not about falling or getting hurt—I was more worried about the forestgetting hurt.
It had come on slowly, but I could feel it now—the raw, massive strength thrilling in my limbs. I wassuddenly sure that if I wanted to tunnel under the river, to claw or beat my way straight through thebedrock, it wouldn't take me very long. The objects around me—the trees, the shrubs, the rocks... thehouse—had all begun to look very fragile.
Hoping very much that Esme was not particularly fond of any specific trees across the river, I began myfirst stride. And then stopped when the tight satin split six inches up my thigh. Alice!
Well, Alice always seemed to treat clothes as if they were disposable and meant for one-time usage, soshe shouldn't mind this. I bent to carefully grasp the hem at the undamaged right seam between my fingersand, exerting the tiniest amount of pressure possible, I ripped the dress open to the top of my thigh. ThenI fixed the other side to match.
Much better.
I could hear the muffled laughter in the house, and even the sound of someone gritting her teeth. Thelaughter came from upstairs and down, and I very easily recognized the much different, rough, throatychuckle from the firstfloor.
So Jacob was watching, too? I couldn't imagine what he was thinking now, or what he was still doinghere. I'd envisioned our reunion—if he could ever forgive me—taking place far in the future, when I wasmore stable, and time had healed the wounds I'd inflicted in his heart.
I didn't turn to look at him now, wary of my mood swings. It wouldn't be good to let any emotion taketoo strong a hold on my frame of mind. Jasper's fears had me on edge, too. I had to hunt before I dealtwith anything else. I tried to forget everything else so I could concentrate.
"Bella?" Edward called from the woods, his voice moving closer. "Do you want to watch again?"But I remembered everything perfectly, of course, and I didn't want to give Emmett a reason to findmore humor in my education. This was physical—it should be instinctive. So I took a deep breath andran for the river.
Unhindered by my skirt, it took only one long bound to reach the water's edge. Just an eighty-fourth of asecond, and yet it was plenty of time—my eyes and my mind moved so quickly that one step wasenough. It was simple to position my right foot just so against the flat stone and exert the adequatepressure to send my body wheeling up into the air. I was paying more attention to aim than force, and Ierred on the amount of power necessary—but at least I didn't err on the side that would have gotten mewet. The fifty yard width was slightly too easy a distance___It was a strange, giddy, electrifying thing, but a short thing. An entire second had yet to pass, and I wasacross.
I was expecting the close-packed trees to be a problem, but they were surprisingly helpful. It was asimple matter to reach out with one sure hand as I fell back toward the earth again deep inside the forestand catch myself on a convenient branch; I swung lightly from the limb and landed on my toes, still fifteenfeet from the ground on the wide bough of a Sitka spruce.
It was fabulous.
Over the sound of my peals of delighted laughter, I could hear Edward racing to find me. My jump hadbeen twice as long as his. When he reached my tree, his eyes were wide. I leaped nimbly from thebranch to his side,soundlessly landing again on the balls of my feet.
"Was that good?" I wondered, my breathing accelerated with excitement.
"Very good." He smiled approvingly, but his casual tone didn't match the surprised expression in hiseyes.
"Can we do it again?""Focus, Bella—we're on a hunting trip.""Oh, right." I nodded. "Hunting.""Follow me... if you can." He grinned, his expression suddenly taunting, and broke into a run.
He was faster than me. I couldn't imagine how he moved his legs with such blinding speed, but it wasbeyond me. However, I was stronger, and every stride of mine matched the length of three of his. Andso I flew with him through the living green web, by his side, not following at all. As I ran, I couldn't helplaughing quietly at the thrill of it; the laughter neither slowed me nor upset my focus.
I could finally understand why Edward never hit the trees when he ran—a question that had always beena mystery to me. It was a peculiar sensation, the balance between the speed and the clarity. For, while Irocketed over, under, and through the thick jade maze at a rate that should have reduced everythingaround me to a streaky green blur, I could plainly see each tiny leaf on all the small branches of everyinsignificant shrub that I passed.
The wind of my speed blew my hair and my torn dress out behind me, and, though I knew it shouldn't, itfelt warm against my skin. Just as the rough forest floor shouldn't feel like velvet beneath my bare soles,and the limbs that whipped against my skin shouldn't feel like caressing feathers.
The forest was much more alive than I'd ever known—small creatures whose existence I'd neverguessed at teemed in the leaves around me. They all grew silent after we passed, their breath quickeningin fear. The animals had a much wiser reaction to our scent than humans seemed to. Certainly, it'd hadthe opposite effect on me.
I kept waiting to feel winded, but my breath came effortlessly. I waited for the burn to begin in mymuscles, but my strength only seemed to increase as I grew accustomed to my stride. My leaping boundsstretched longer, and soon he was trying to keep up with me. I laughed again, exultant, when I heard himfalling behind. My naked feet touched the ground so infrequently now it felt more like flying than running.
"Belial he called dryly, his voice even, lazy. I could hear nothing else; he had stopped.
I briefly considered mutiny.
But, with a sigh, I whirled and skipped lightly to his side, some hundred yards back. I looked at himexpectantly. He was smiling, with one eyebrow raised. He was so beautiful that I could only stare.
"Did you want to stay in the country?" he asked, amused. "Or were you planning to continue on toCanada this afternoon?""This is fine," I agreed, concentrating less on what he was saying and more on the mesmerizing way hislips moved when he spoke. It was hard not to become sidetracked with everything fresh in my strongnew eyes. "What are we hunting?""Elk. I thought something easy for your first time ..." He trailed off when my eyes narrowed at the wordeasy.
But I wasn't going to argue; I was too thirsty. As soon as I'd started to think about the dry burn in mythroat, it was all I could think about. Definitely getting worse. My mouth felt like four o'clock on a Juneafternoon in Death Valley.
"Where?" I asked, scanning the trees impatiently. Now that I had given the thirst my attention, it seemedto taint every other thought in my head, leaking into the more pleasant thoughts of running and Edward'slips and kissing and... scorching thirst. I couldn't get away from it.
"Hold still for a minute," he said, putting his hands lightly on my shoulders. The urgency of my thirstreceded momentarily at his touch.
"Now close your eyes," he murmured. When I obeyed, he raised his hands to my face, stroking mycheekbones. I felt my breathing speed and waited briefly again for the blush that wouldn't come.
"Listen," Edward instructed. "What do you hear?"Everything,I could have said; his perfect voice, his breath, his lips brushing together as he spoke, thewhisper of birds preening their feathers in the treetops, their fluttering heartbeats, the maple leavesscraping together, the faint clicking of ants following each other in a long line up the bark of the nearesttree. But I knew he meant something specific, so I let my ears range outward, seeking something differentthan the small hum of life that surrounded me. There was an open space near us—the wind had adifferent sound across the exposed grass—and a small creek, with a rocky bed. And there, near thenoise of the water, was the splash of lapping tongues, the loud thudding of heavy hearts, pumping thickstreams of blood___It felt like the sides of my throat had sucked closed.
"By the creek, to the northeast?" I asked, my eyes still shut.
"Yes." His tone was approving. "Now... wait for the breeze again and... what do you smell?"Mostly him—his strange honey-lilac-and-sun perfume. But also the rich, earthy smell of rot and moss,the resin in the evergreens, the warm, almost nutty aroma of the small rodents cowering beneath the treeroots. And then, reaching out again, the clean smell of the water, which was surprisingly unappealingdespite my thirst. I focused toward the water and found the scent that must have gone with the lappingnoise and the pounding heart. Another warm smell, rich and tangy, stronger than the others. And yetnearly as unappealing as the brook. I wrinkled my nose.
He chuckled. "I know—it takes some getting used to.""Three?" I guessed.
"Five. There are two more in the trees behind them.""What do I do now?"His voice sounded like he was smiling. "What do you feel like doing?"I thought about that, my eyes still shut as I listened and breathed in the scent. Another bout of bakingthirst intruded on my awareness, and suddenly the warm, tangy odor wasn't quite so objectionable. Atleast it would be something hot and wet in my desiccated mouth. My eyes snapped open.
"Don't think about it," he suggested as he lifted his hands off my face and took a step back. "Just followyourinstincts."I let myself drift with the scent, barely aware of my movement as I ghosted down the incline to thenarrow meadow where the stream flowed. My body shifted forward automatically into a low crouch as Ihesitated at the fern-fringed edge of the trees. I could see a big buck, two dozen antler points crowninghis head, at the stream's edge, and the shadow-spotted shapes of the four others heading eastward intoforest at a leisurely pace.
I centered myself around the scent of the male, the hot spot in his shaggy neck where the warmth pulsedstrongest. Only thirty yards—two or three bounds—between us. i tensed myself for the first leap.
But as my muscles bunched in preparation, the wind shifted, blowing stronger now, and from the south. Ididn't stop to think, hurtling out of the trees in a path perpendicular to my original plan, scaring the elkinto the forest, racing after a new fragrance so attractive that there wasn't a choice. It was compulsory.
The scent ruled completely. I was single-minded as I traced it, aware only of the thirst and the smell thatpromised to quench it. The thirst got worse, so painful now that it confused all my other thoughts andbegan to remind me of the burn of venom in my veins.
There was only one thing that had any chance of penetrating my focus now, an instinct more powerful,more basic than the need to quench the fire—it was the instinct to protect myself from danger.
Self-preservation.
I was suddenly alert to the fact that I was being followed. The pull of the irresistible scent warred withthe impulse to turn and defend my hunt. A bubble of sound built in my chest, my lips pulled back of theirown accord to expose my teeth in warning. My feet slowed, the need to protect my back strugglingagainst the desire to quench my thirst.
And then I could hear my pursuer gaining, and defense won. As I spun, the rising sound ripped its wayup my throat and out.
The feral snarl, coming from my own mouth, was so unexpected that it brought me up short. It unsettledme, and it cleared my head for a second—the thirst-driven haze receded, though the thirst burned on.
The wind shifted, blowing the smell of wet earth and coming rain across my face, further freeing me fromthe other scent's fiery grip—a scent so delicious it could only be human.
Edward hesitated a few feet away, his arms raised as if to embrace me—or restrain me. His face wasintent and cautious as I froze, horrified.
I realized that I had been about to attack him. With a hard jerk, I straightened out of my defensivecrouch. I held my breath as I refocused, fearing the power of the fragrance swirling up from the south.
He could see reason return to my face, and he took a step toward me, lowering his arms.
"I have to get away from here," I spit through my teeth, using the breath I had.
Shock crossed his face. "Can you leave?"I didn't have time to ask him what he meant by that. I knew the ability to think clearly would last only aslong as I could stop myself from thinking of—I burst into a run again, a flat-out sprint straight north, concentrating solely on the uncomfortable feelingof sensory deprivation that seemed to be my body's only response to the lack of air. My one goal was torun farenough away that the scent behind me would be completely lost. Impossible to find, even if I changedmy mind...
Once again, I was aware of being followed, but I was sane this time. I fought the instinct to breathe—touse the flavors in the air to be sure it was Edward. I didn't have to fight long; though I was running fasterthan I ever had before, shooting like a comet through the straightest path I could find in the trees; Edwardcaught up with me after a short minute.
A new thought occurred to me, and I stopped dead, my feet planted. I was sure it must be safe here, butI held my breath just in case.
Edward blew past me, surprised by my sudden freeze. He wheeled around and was at my side in asecond. He put his hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes, shock still the dominant emotion onhis face.
"How did you do that?" he demanded.
"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" I demanded back, ignoring his question. And I'd thought I'dbeen doing sowell!
When I opened my mouth, I could taste the air—it was unpolluted now, with no trace of the compellingperfume to torment my thirst. I took a cautious breath.
He shrugged and shook his head, refusing to be deflected. "Bella, how did you do it?""Run away? I held my breath.""But how did you stop hunting?""When you came up behind me... I'm so sorry about that.""Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one who was horribly careless. I assumed no one would be sofar from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! You have nothing to apologizefor.""But I growled at you!" I was still horrified that I was physically capable of such blasphemy.
"Of course you did. That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away.""What else could I do?" I asked. His attitude confused me—what did he want to have happened? "Itmight have been someone I know!"He startled me, suddenly bursting into a spasm of loud laughter, throwing his head back and letting thesound echo off the trees.
"Why are you laughing at me?"He stopped at once, and I could see he was wary again.
Keep it under control,I thought to myself. I had to watch my temper. Just like I was a young werewolfrather than a vampire.
"I'm not laughing at you,Bella. I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I amcompletely amazed.""Why?""You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so... so rational. You shouldn't be able tostand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should nothave been able to breakoff mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that—we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella,you're behaving like you're decades rather than days old.""Oh." But I'd known it was going to be hard. That was why I'd been so on guard. I'd been expecting itto be difficult.
He put his hands on my face again, and his eyes were full of wonder. "What wouldn't I give to be able tosee into your mind for just this one moment."Such powerful emotions. I'd been prepared for the thirst part, but not this. I'd been so sure it wouldn'tbe the same when he touched me. Well, truthfully, it wasn't the same.
It was stronger.
I reached up to trace the planes of his face; my fingers lingered on his lips.
"I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time?" My uncertainty made the words a question. "But Istillwant you."He blinked in shock. "How can you even concentrate on that? Aren't you unbearably thirsty?"Of course I was now, now that he'd brought it up again!
I tried to swallow and then sighed, closing my eyes like I had before to help me concentrate. I let mysenses range out around me, tensed this time in case of another onslaught of the delicious taboo scent.
Edward dropped his hands, not even breathing while I listened farther and farther out into the web ofgreen life, sifting through the scents and sounds for something not totally repellant to my thirst. There wasa hint of something different, a faint trail to the east___My eyes flashed open, but my focus was still on sharper senses as I turned and darted silently eastward.
The ground sloped steeply upward almost at once, and I ran in a hunting crouch, close to the ground,taking to the trees when that was easier. I sensed rather than heard Edward with me, flowing quietlythrough the woods, letting me lead.
The vegetation thinned as we climbed higher; the scent of pitch and resin grew more powerful, as did thetrail I followed—it was a warm scent, sharper than the smell of the elk and more appealing. A fewseconds more and I could hear the muted padding of immense feet, so much subtler than the crunch ofhooves. The sound was up—in the branches rather than on the ground. Automatically I darted into theboughs as well, gaining the strategic higher position, halfway up a towering silver fir.
The soft thud of paws continued stealthily beneath me now; the rich scent was very close. My eyespinpointed the movement linked with the sound, and I saw the tawny hide of the great cat slinking alongthe wide branch of a spruce just down and to the left of my perch. He was big—easily four times mymass. His eyes were intent on the ground beneath; the cat hunted, too. I caught the smell of somethingsmaller, bland next to the aroma of my prey, cowering in brush below the tree. The lion's tail twitchedspasmodically as he prepared to spring.
With a light bound, I sailed through the air and landed on the lion's branch. He felt the shiver of the woodand whirled, shrieking surprise and defiance. He clawed the space between us, his eyes bright with fury.
Half-crazed withthirst, I ignored the exposed fangs and the hooked claws and launched myself at him, knocking us bothto the forest floor.
It wasn't much of a fight.
His raking claws could have been caressing fingers for all the impact they had on my skin. His teethcould find no purchase against my shoulder or my throat. His weight was nothing. My teeth unerringlysought his throat, and his instinctive resistance was pitifully feeble against my strength. My jaws lockedeasily over the precise point where the heat flow concentrated.
It was effortless as biting into butter. My teeth were steel razors; they cut through the fur and fat andsinews like they weren't there.
The flavor was wrong, but the blood was hot and wet and it soothed the ragged, itching thirst as I drankin an eager rush. The cat's struggles grew more and more feeble, and his screams choked off with agurgle. The warmth of the blood radiated throughout my whole body, heating even my fingertips andtoes.
The lion was finished before I was. The thirst flared again when he ran dry, and I shoved his carcass offmy body in disgust. How could I still be thirsty after all that?
I wrenched myself erect in one quick move. Standing, I realized I was a bit of a mess. I wiped my faceoff on the back of my arm and tried to fix the dress. The claws that had been so ineffectual against myskin had had more success with the thin satin.
"Hmm," Edward said. I looked up to see him leaning casually against a tree trunk, watching me with athoughtful look on his face.
"I guess I could have done that better." I was covered in dirt, my hair knotted, my dress bloodstainedand hanging in tatters. Edward didn't come home from hunting trips looking like this.
"You did perfectly fine," he assured me. "It's just that... it was much more difficult for me to watch than itshould have been."I raised my eyebrows, confused.
"It goes against the grain," he explained, "letting you wrestle with lions. I was having an anxiety attack thewhole time.""Silly.""I know. Old habits die hard. I like the improvements to your dress, though."If I could have blushed, I would have. I changed the subject. "Why am I still thirsty?""Because you're young."I sighed. "And I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby.""Plenty of deer, though."I made a face. "They don't smell as good.""Herbivores. The meat-eaters smell more like humans," he explained.
"Not that much like humans," I disagreed, trying not to remember.
"We could go back," he said solemnly, but there was a teasing light in his eye. "Whoever it was outthere, if they were men, they probably wouldn't even mind death if you were the one delivering it." Hisgaze ran over my ravaged dress again. "In fact, they would think they were already dead and gone toheaven the moment they saw you."I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Let's go hunt some stinking herbivores."We found a large herd of mule deer as we ran back toward home. He hunted with me this time, nowthat I'd gotten the hang of it. I brought down a large buck, making nearly as much of a mess as I had withthe lion. He'd finished with two before I was done with the first, not a hair ruffled, not a spot on his whiteshirt. We chased the scattered and terrified herd, but instead of feeding again, this time I watchedcarefully to see how he was able to hunt so neatly.
All the times that I had wished that Edward would not have to leave me behind when he hunted, I hadsecretly been just a little relieved. Because I was sure that seeing this would be frightening. Horrifying.
That seeing him hunt would finally make him look like a vampire to me.
Of course, it was much different from this perspective, as a vampire myself. But I doubted that even myhuman eyes would have missed the beauty here.
It was a surprisingly sensual experience to observe Edward hunting. His smooth spring was like thesinuous strike of a snake; his hands were so sure, so strong, so completely inescapable; his full lips wereperfect as they parted gracefully over his gleaming teeth. He was glorious. I felt a sudden jolt of bothpride and desire. He was mine. Nothing could ever separate him from me now. I was too strong to betorn from his side.
He was very quick. He turned to me and gazed curiously at my gloating expression.
"No longer thirsty?" he asked.
I shrugged. "You distracted me. You're much better at it than I am.""Centuries of practice." He smiled. His eyes were a disconcertingly lovely shade of honey gold now.
"Just one," I corrected him.
He laughed. "Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?""Done, I think." I felt very full, sort of sloshy, even. I wasn't sure how much more liquid would fit into mybody. But the burn in my throat was only muted. Then again, I'd known that thirst was just aninescapable part of this life.
And worth it.
I felt in control. Perhaps my sense of security was false, but I did feel pretty good about not killinganyone today. If I could resist totally human strangers, wouldn't I be able to handle the werewolf and ahalf-vampire child that I loved?
"I want to see Renesmee," I said. Now that my thirst was tamed (if nothing close to erased), my earlierworries were hard to forget. I wanted to reconcile the stranger who was my daughter with the creatureI'd loved three days ago. It was so odd, so wrong not to have her inside me still. Abruptly, I felt emptyand uneasy.
He held out his hand to me. I took it, and his skin felt warmer than before. His cheek was faintly flushed,the shadows under his eyes all but vanished.
I was unable to resist stroking his face again. And again.
I sort of forgot that I was waiting for a response to my request as I stared into his shimmering gold eyes.
It was almost as hard as it had been to turn away from the scent of human blood, but I somehow keptthe need to be careful firmly in my head as I stretched up on my toes and wrapped my arms around him.
Gently.
He was not so hesitant in his movements; his arms locked around my waist and pulled me tight againsthis body. His lips crushed down on mine, but they felt soft. My lips no longer shaped themselves aroundhis; they held their own.
Like before, it was as if the touch of his skin, his lips, his hands, was sinking right through my smooth,hard skin and into my new bones. To the very core of my body. I hadn't imagined that I could love himmore than I had.
My old mind hadn't been capable of holding this much love. My old heart had not been strong enough tobear it.
Maybe this was the part of me that I'd brought forward to be intensified in my new life. Like Carlisle'scompassion and Esme's devotion. I would probably never be able to do anything interesting or speciallike Edward, Alice, and Jasper could do. Maybe I would just love Edward more than anyone in thehistory of the world had ever loved anyone else.
I could live with that.
I remembered parts of this—twisting my fingers in his hair, tracing the planes of his chest—but otherparts were so new. He was new. It was an entirely different experience with Edward kissing me sofearlessly, so forcefully. I responded to his intensity, and then suddenly we were falling.
"Oops," I said, and he laughed underneath me. "I didn't mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?"He stroked my face. "Slightly better than okay" And then a perplexed expression crossed his face.
"Renesmee?" he asked uncertainly, trying to ascertain what I wanted most in this moment. A very difficultquestion to answer, because I wanted so many things at the same time.
I could tell that he wasn't exactly averse to procrastinating our return trip, and it was hard to think aboutmuch besides his skin on mine—there really wasn't that much left of the dress. But my memory ofRenesmee, before and after her birth, was becoming more and more dreamlike to me. More unlikely. Allmy memories of her were human memories; an aura of artificiality clung to them. Nothing seemed realthat I hadn't seen with these eyes, touched with these hands.
Every minute, the reality of that little stranger slipped further away.
"Renesmee," I agreed, rueful, and I whipped back up onto my feet, pulling him with me.
I'd never really been afraid of heights per se, but being able to see all the details with such clarity madethe prospect less appealing. The angles of the rocks below were sharper than I would have imaginedthem.
Edward smiled. "It's the most convenient exit. If you're frightened, I can carry you.""We have all eternity, and you're worried about the time it would take to walk to the back door?"He frowned slightly. "Renesmee and Jacob are downstairs___""Oh."Right. I was the monster now. I had to keep away from scents that might trigger my wild side. From thepeople that I loved in particular. Even the ones I didn't really know yet.
"Is Renesmee... okay... with Jacob there?" I whispered. I realized belatedly that it must havebeenJacob's heart I'd heard below. I listened hard again, but I could only hear the one steady pulse. "Hedoesn't like her much."Edward's lips tightened in an odd way. "Trust me, she is perfectly safe. I know exactly what Jacob isthinking.""Of course," I murmured, and looked at the ground again.
"Stalling?" he challenged.
"A little. I don't know how...."And I was very conscious of my family behind me, watching silently. Mostly silently. Emmett had alreadychuckled under his breath once. One mistake, and he'd be rolling on the floor. Then the jokes about theworld's only clumsy vampire would start....
Also, this dress—that Alice must have put me in sometime when I was too lost in the burning tonotice—was not what I would have picked out for either jumping or hunting. Tightly fitted ice-blue silk?
What did she think I would need it for? Was there a cocktail party later?
"Watch me," Edward said. And then, very casually, he stepped out of the tall, open window and fell.
I watched carefully, analyzing the angle at which he bent his knees to absorb the impact. The sound ofhis landing was very low—a muted thud that could have been a door softly closed, or a book gently laidon a table.
It didn't look hard.
Clenching my teeth as I concentrated, I tried to copy his casual step into empty air.
Ha! The ground seemed to move toward me so slowly that it was nothing at all to place my feet—whatshoes had Alice put me in? Stilettos? She'd lost her mind—to place mysilly shoes exactly right so thatlanding was no different than stepping one foot forward on a flat surface.
I absorbed the impact in the balls of my feet, not wanting to snap off the thin heels. My landing seemedjust as quiet as his. I grinned at him.
"Right. Easy."He smiled back. "Bella?""Yes?""That was quite graceful—even for a vampire."I considered that for a moment, and then I beamed. If he'd just been saying that, then Emmett wouldhave laughed. No one found his remark humorous, so it must have been true. It was the first time anyonehad ever applied the word graceful 'to me in my entire life... or, well, existence anyway.
"T/?an/cyou,"i told him.
And then I hooked the silver satin shoes off my feet one by one and lobbed them together back throughthe open window. A little too hard, maybe, but I heard someone catch them before they could damagethe paneling.
Alice grumbled, "Her fashion sense hasn't improved as much as her balance."Edward took my hand—I couldn't stop marveling at the smoothness, the comfortable temperature of hisskin—and darted through the backyard to the edge of the river. I went along with him effortlessly.
Everything physical seemed very simple.
"Are we swimming?" I asked him when we stopped beside the water.
"And ruin your pretty dress? No. We're jumping."I pursed my lips, considering. The river was about fifty yards wide here.
"You first," I said.
He touched my cheek, took two quick backward strides, and then ran back those two steps, launchinghimself from a flat stone firmly embedded in the riverbank. I studied the flash of movement as he arcedover the water, finally turning a somersault just before he disappeared into the thick trees on the otherside of the river.
"Show-off," I muttered, and heard his invisible laugh.
I backed up five paces, just in case, and took a deep breath.
Suddenly, I was anxious again. Not about falling or getting hurt—I was more worried about the forestgetting hurt.
It had come on slowly, but I could feel it now—the raw, massive strength thrilling in my limbs. I wassuddenly sure that if I wanted to tunnel under the river, to claw or beat my way straight through thebedrock, it wouldn't take me very long. The objects around me—the trees, the shrubs, the rocks... thehouse—had all begun to look very fragile.
Hoping very much that Esme was not particularly fond of any specific trees across the river, I began myfirst stride. And then stopped when the tight satin split six inches up my thigh. Alice!
Well, Alice always seemed to treat clothes as if they were disposable and meant for one-time usage, soshe shouldn't mind this. I bent to carefully grasp the hem at the undamaged right seam between my fingersand, exerting the tiniest amount of pressure possible, I ripped the dress open to the top of my thigh. ThenI fixed the other side to match.
Much better.
I could hear the muffled laughter in the house, and even the sound of someone gritting her teeth. Thelaughter came from upstairs and down, and I very easily recognized the much different, rough, throatychuckle from the firstfloor.
So Jacob was watching, too? I couldn't imagine what he was thinking now, or what he was still doinghere. I'd envisioned our reunion—if he could ever forgive me—taking place far in the future, when I wasmore stable, and time had healed the wounds I'd inflicted in his heart.
I didn't turn to look at him now, wary of my mood swings. It wouldn't be good to let any emotion taketoo strong a hold on my frame of mind. Jasper's fears had me on edge, too. I had to hunt before I dealtwith anything else. I tried to forget everything else so I could concentrate.
"Bella?" Edward called from the woods, his voice moving closer. "Do you want to watch again?"But I remembered everything perfectly, of course, and I didn't want to give Emmett a reason to findmore humor in my education. This was physical—it should be instinctive. So I took a deep breath andran for the river.
Unhindered by my skirt, it took only one long bound to reach the water's edge. Just an eighty-fourth of asecond, and yet it was plenty of time—my eyes and my mind moved so quickly that one step wasenough. It was simple to position my right foot just so against the flat stone and exert the adequatepressure to send my body wheeling up into the air. I was paying more attention to aim than force, and Ierred on the amount of power necessary—but at least I didn't err on the side that would have gotten mewet. The fifty yard width was slightly too easy a distance___It was a strange, giddy, electrifying thing, but a short thing. An entire second had yet to pass, and I wasacross.
I was expecting the close-packed trees to be a problem, but they were surprisingly helpful. It was asimple matter to reach out with one sure hand as I fell back toward the earth again deep inside the forestand catch myself on a convenient branch; I swung lightly from the limb and landed on my toes, still fifteenfeet from the ground on the wide bough of a Sitka spruce.
It was fabulous.
Over the sound of my peals of delighted laughter, I could hear Edward racing to find me. My jump hadbeen twice as long as his. When he reached my tree, his eyes were wide. I leaped nimbly from thebranch to his side,soundlessly landing again on the balls of my feet.
"Was that good?" I wondered, my breathing accelerated with excitement.
"Very good." He smiled approvingly, but his casual tone didn't match the surprised expression in hiseyes.
"Can we do it again?""Focus, Bella—we're on a hunting trip.""Oh, right." I nodded. "Hunting.""Follow me... if you can." He grinned, his expression suddenly taunting, and broke into a run.
He was faster than me. I couldn't imagine how he moved his legs with such blinding speed, but it wasbeyond me. However, I was stronger, and every stride of mine matched the length of three of his. Andso I flew with him through the living green web, by his side, not following at all. As I ran, I couldn't helplaughing quietly at the thrill of it; the laughter neither slowed me nor upset my focus.
I could finally understand why Edward never hit the trees when he ran—a question that had always beena mystery to me. It was a peculiar sensation, the balance between the speed and the clarity. For, while Irocketed over, under, and through the thick jade maze at a rate that should have reduced everythingaround me to a streaky green blur, I could plainly see each tiny leaf on all the small branches of everyinsignificant shrub that I passed.
The wind of my speed blew my hair and my torn dress out behind me, and, though I knew it shouldn't, itfelt warm against my skin. Just as the rough forest floor shouldn't feel like velvet beneath my bare soles,and the limbs that whipped against my skin shouldn't feel like caressing feathers.
The forest was much more alive than I'd ever known—small creatures whose existence I'd neverguessed at teemed in the leaves around me. They all grew silent after we passed, their breath quickeningin fear. The animals had a much wiser reaction to our scent than humans seemed to. Certainly, it'd hadthe opposite effect on me.
I kept waiting to feel winded, but my breath came effortlessly. I waited for the burn to begin in mymuscles, but my strength only seemed to increase as I grew accustomed to my stride. My leaping boundsstretched longer, and soon he was trying to keep up with me. I laughed again, exultant, when I heard himfalling behind. My naked feet touched the ground so infrequently now it felt more like flying than running.
"Belial he called dryly, his voice even, lazy. I could hear nothing else; he had stopped.
I briefly considered mutiny.
But, with a sigh, I whirled and skipped lightly to his side, some hundred yards back. I looked at himexpectantly. He was smiling, with one eyebrow raised. He was so beautiful that I could only stare.
"Did you want to stay in the country?" he asked, amused. "Or were you planning to continue on toCanada this afternoon?""This is fine," I agreed, concentrating less on what he was saying and more on the mesmerizing way hislips moved when he spoke. It was hard not to become sidetracked with everything fresh in my strongnew eyes. "What are we hunting?""Elk. I thought something easy for your first time ..." He trailed off when my eyes narrowed at the wordeasy.
But I wasn't going to argue; I was too thirsty. As soon as I'd started to think about the dry burn in mythroat, it was all I could think about. Definitely getting worse. My mouth felt like four o'clock on a Juneafternoon in Death Valley.
"Where?" I asked, scanning the trees impatiently. Now that I had given the thirst my attention, it seemedto taint every other thought in my head, leaking into the more pleasant thoughts of running and Edward'slips and kissing and... scorching thirst. I couldn't get away from it.
"Hold still for a minute," he said, putting his hands lightly on my shoulders. The urgency of my thirstreceded momentarily at his touch.
"Now close your eyes," he murmured. When I obeyed, he raised his hands to my face, stroking mycheekbones. I felt my breathing speed and waited briefly again for the blush that wouldn't come.
"Listen," Edward instructed. "What do you hear?"Everything,I could have said; his perfect voice, his breath, his lips brushing together as he spoke, thewhisper of birds preening their feathers in the treetops, their fluttering heartbeats, the maple leavesscraping together, the faint clicking of ants following each other in a long line up the bark of the nearesttree. But I knew he meant something specific, so I let my ears range outward, seeking something differentthan the small hum of life that surrounded me. There was an open space near us—the wind had adifferent sound across the exposed grass—and a small creek, with a rocky bed. And there, near thenoise of the water, was the splash of lapping tongues, the loud thudding of heavy hearts, pumping thickstreams of blood___It felt like the sides of my throat had sucked closed.
"By the creek, to the northeast?" I asked, my eyes still shut.
"Yes." His tone was approving. "Now... wait for the breeze again and... what do you smell?"Mostly him—his strange honey-lilac-and-sun perfume. But also the rich, earthy smell of rot and moss,the resin in the evergreens, the warm, almost nutty aroma of the small rodents cowering beneath the treeroots. And then, reaching out again, the clean smell of the water, which was surprisingly unappealingdespite my thirst. I focused toward the water and found the scent that must have gone with the lappingnoise and the pounding heart. Another warm smell, rich and tangy, stronger than the others. And yetnearly as unappealing as the brook. I wrinkled my nose.
He chuckled. "I know—it takes some getting used to.""Three?" I guessed.
"Five. There are two more in the trees behind them.""What do I do now?"His voice sounded like he was smiling. "What do you feel like doing?"I thought about that, my eyes still shut as I listened and breathed in the scent. Another bout of bakingthirst intruded on my awareness, and suddenly the warm, tangy odor wasn't quite so objectionable. Atleast it would be something hot and wet in my desiccated mouth. My eyes snapped open.
"Don't think about it," he suggested as he lifted his hands off my face and took a step back. "Just followyourinstincts."I let myself drift with the scent, barely aware of my movement as I ghosted down the incline to thenarrow meadow where the stream flowed. My body shifted forward automatically into a low crouch as Ihesitated at the fern-fringed edge of the trees. I could see a big buck, two dozen antler points crowninghis head, at the stream's edge, and the shadow-spotted shapes of the four others heading eastward intoforest at a leisurely pace.
I centered myself around the scent of the male, the hot spot in his shaggy neck where the warmth pulsedstrongest. Only thirty yards—two or three bounds—between us. i tensed myself for the first leap.
But as my muscles bunched in preparation, the wind shifted, blowing stronger now, and from the south. Ididn't stop to think, hurtling out of the trees in a path perpendicular to my original plan, scaring the elkinto the forest, racing after a new fragrance so attractive that there wasn't a choice. It was compulsory.
The scent ruled completely. I was single-minded as I traced it, aware only of the thirst and the smell thatpromised to quench it. The thirst got worse, so painful now that it confused all my other thoughts andbegan to remind me of the burn of venom in my veins.
There was only one thing that had any chance of penetrating my focus now, an instinct more powerful,more basic than the need to quench the fire—it was the instinct to protect myself from danger.
Self-preservation.
I was suddenly alert to the fact that I was being followed. The pull of the irresistible scent warred withthe impulse to turn and defend my hunt. A bubble of sound built in my chest, my lips pulled back of theirown accord to expose my teeth in warning. My feet slowed, the need to protect my back strugglingagainst the desire to quench my thirst.
And then I could hear my pursuer gaining, and defense won. As I spun, the rising sound ripped its wayup my throat and out.
The feral snarl, coming from my own mouth, was so unexpected that it brought me up short. It unsettledme, and it cleared my head for a second—the thirst-driven haze receded, though the thirst burned on.
The wind shifted, blowing the smell of wet earth and coming rain across my face, further freeing me fromthe other scent's fiery grip—a scent so delicious it could only be human.
Edward hesitated a few feet away, his arms raised as if to embrace me—or restrain me. His face wasintent and cautious as I froze, horrified.
I realized that I had been about to attack him. With a hard jerk, I straightened out of my defensivecrouch. I held my breath as I refocused, fearing the power of the fragrance swirling up from the south.
He could see reason return to my face, and he took a step toward me, lowering his arms.
"I have to get away from here," I spit through my teeth, using the breath I had.
Shock crossed his face. "Can you leave?"I didn't have time to ask him what he meant by that. I knew the ability to think clearly would last only aslong as I could stop myself from thinking of—I burst into a run again, a flat-out sprint straight north, concentrating solely on the uncomfortable feelingof sensory deprivation that seemed to be my body's only response to the lack of air. My one goal was torun farenough away that the scent behind me would be completely lost. Impossible to find, even if I changedmy mind...
Once again, I was aware of being followed, but I was sane this time. I fought the instinct to breathe—touse the flavors in the air to be sure it was Edward. I didn't have to fight long; though I was running fasterthan I ever had before, shooting like a comet through the straightest path I could find in the trees; Edwardcaught up with me after a short minute.
A new thought occurred to me, and I stopped dead, my feet planted. I was sure it must be safe here, butI held my breath just in case.
Edward blew past me, surprised by my sudden freeze. He wheeled around and was at my side in asecond. He put his hands on my shoulders and stared into my eyes, shock still the dominant emotion onhis face.
"How did you do that?" he demanded.
"You let me beat you before, didn't you?" I demanded back, ignoring his question. And I'd thought I'dbeen doing sowell!
When I opened my mouth, I could taste the air—it was unpolluted now, with no trace of the compellingperfume to torment my thirst. I took a cautious breath.
He shrugged and shook his head, refusing to be deflected. "Bella, how did you do it?""Run away? I held my breath.""But how did you stop hunting?""When you came up behind me... I'm so sorry about that.""Why are you apologizing to me? I'm the one who was horribly careless. I assumed no one would be sofar from the trails, but I should have checked first. Such a stupid mistake! You have nothing to apologizefor.""But I growled at you!" I was still horrified that I was physically capable of such blasphemy.
"Of course you did. That's only natural. But I can't understand how you ran away.""What else could I do?" I asked. His attitude confused me—what did he want to have happened? "Itmight have been someone I know!"He startled me, suddenly bursting into a spasm of loud laughter, throwing his head back and letting thesound echo off the trees.
"Why are you laughing at me?"He stopped at once, and I could see he was wary again.
Keep it under control,I thought to myself. I had to watch my temper. Just like I was a young werewolfrather than a vampire.
"I'm not laughing at you,Bella. I'm laughing because I am in shock. And I am in shock because I amcompletely amazed.""Why?""You shouldn't be able to do any of this. You shouldn't be so... so rational. You shouldn't be able tostand here discussing this with me calmly and coolly. And, much more than any of that, you should nothave been able to breakoff mid-hunt with the scent of human blood in the air. Even mature vampires have difficulty with that—we're always very careful of where we hunt so as not to put ourselves in the path of temptation. Bella,you're behaving like you're decades rather than days old.""Oh." But I'd known it was going to be hard. That was why I'd been so on guard. I'd been expecting itto be difficult.
He put his hands on my face again, and his eyes were full of wonder. "What wouldn't I give to be able tosee into your mind for just this one moment."Such powerful emotions. I'd been prepared for the thirst part, but not this. I'd been so sure it wouldn'tbe the same when he touched me. Well, truthfully, it wasn't the same.
It was stronger.
I reached up to trace the planes of his face; my fingers lingered on his lips.
"I thought I wouldn't feel this way for a long time?" My uncertainty made the words a question. "But Istillwant you."He blinked in shock. "How can you even concentrate on that? Aren't you unbearably thirsty?"Of course I was now, now that he'd brought it up again!
I tried to swallow and then sighed, closing my eyes like I had before to help me concentrate. I let mysenses range out around me, tensed this time in case of another onslaught of the delicious taboo scent.
Edward dropped his hands, not even breathing while I listened farther and farther out into the web ofgreen life, sifting through the scents and sounds for something not totally repellant to my thirst. There wasa hint of something different, a faint trail to the east___My eyes flashed open, but my focus was still on sharper senses as I turned and darted silently eastward.
The ground sloped steeply upward almost at once, and I ran in a hunting crouch, close to the ground,taking to the trees when that was easier. I sensed rather than heard Edward with me, flowing quietlythrough the woods, letting me lead.
The vegetation thinned as we climbed higher; the scent of pitch and resin grew more powerful, as did thetrail I followed—it was a warm scent, sharper than the smell of the elk and more appealing. A fewseconds more and I could hear the muted padding of immense feet, so much subtler than the crunch ofhooves. The sound was up—in the branches rather than on the ground. Automatically I darted into theboughs as well, gaining the strategic higher position, halfway up a towering silver fir.
The soft thud of paws continued stealthily beneath me now; the rich scent was very close. My eyespinpointed the movement linked with the sound, and I saw the tawny hide of the great cat slinking alongthe wide branch of a spruce just down and to the left of my perch. He was big—easily four times mymass. His eyes were intent on the ground beneath; the cat hunted, too. I caught the smell of somethingsmaller, bland next to the aroma of my prey, cowering in brush below the tree. The lion's tail twitchedspasmodically as he prepared to spring.
With a light bound, I sailed through the air and landed on the lion's branch. He felt the shiver of the woodand whirled, shrieking surprise and defiance. He clawed the space between us, his eyes bright with fury.
Half-crazed withthirst, I ignored the exposed fangs and the hooked claws and launched myself at him, knocking us bothto the forest floor.
It wasn't much of a fight.
His raking claws could have been caressing fingers for all the impact they had on my skin. His teethcould find no purchase against my shoulder or my throat. His weight was nothing. My teeth unerringlysought his throat, and his instinctive resistance was pitifully feeble against my strength. My jaws lockedeasily over the precise point where the heat flow concentrated.
It was effortless as biting into butter. My teeth were steel razors; they cut through the fur and fat andsinews like they weren't there.
The flavor was wrong, but the blood was hot and wet and it soothed the ragged, itching thirst as I drankin an eager rush. The cat's struggles grew more and more feeble, and his screams choked off with agurgle. The warmth of the blood radiated throughout my whole body, heating even my fingertips andtoes.
The lion was finished before I was. The thirst flared again when he ran dry, and I shoved his carcass offmy body in disgust. How could I still be thirsty after all that?
I wrenched myself erect in one quick move. Standing, I realized I was a bit of a mess. I wiped my faceoff on the back of my arm and tried to fix the dress. The claws that had been so ineffectual against myskin had had more success with the thin satin.
"Hmm," Edward said. I looked up to see him leaning casually against a tree trunk, watching me with athoughtful look on his face.
"I guess I could have done that better." I was covered in dirt, my hair knotted, my dress bloodstainedand hanging in tatters. Edward didn't come home from hunting trips looking like this.
"You did perfectly fine," he assured me. "It's just that... it was much more difficult for me to watch than itshould have been."I raised my eyebrows, confused.
"It goes against the grain," he explained, "letting you wrestle with lions. I was having an anxiety attack thewhole time.""Silly.""I know. Old habits die hard. I like the improvements to your dress, though."If I could have blushed, I would have. I changed the subject. "Why am I still thirsty?""Because you're young."I sighed. "And I don't suppose there are any other mountain lions nearby.""Plenty of deer, though."I made a face. "They don't smell as good.""Herbivores. The meat-eaters smell more like humans," he explained.
"Not that much like humans," I disagreed, trying not to remember.
"We could go back," he said solemnly, but there was a teasing light in his eye. "Whoever it was outthere, if they were men, they probably wouldn't even mind death if you were the one delivering it." Hisgaze ran over my ravaged dress again. "In fact, they would think they were already dead and gone toheaven the moment they saw you."I rolled my eyes and snorted. "Let's go hunt some stinking herbivores."We found a large herd of mule deer as we ran back toward home. He hunted with me this time, nowthat I'd gotten the hang of it. I brought down a large buck, making nearly as much of a mess as I had withthe lion. He'd finished with two before I was done with the first, not a hair ruffled, not a spot on his whiteshirt. We chased the scattered and terrified herd, but instead of feeding again, this time I watchedcarefully to see how he was able to hunt so neatly.
All the times that I had wished that Edward would not have to leave me behind when he hunted, I hadsecretly been just a little relieved. Because I was sure that seeing this would be frightening. Horrifying.
That seeing him hunt would finally make him look like a vampire to me.
Of course, it was much different from this perspective, as a vampire myself. But I doubted that even myhuman eyes would have missed the beauty here.
It was a surprisingly sensual experience to observe Edward hunting. His smooth spring was like thesinuous strike of a snake; his hands were so sure, so strong, so completely inescapable; his full lips wereperfect as they parted gracefully over his gleaming teeth. He was glorious. I felt a sudden jolt of bothpride and desire. He was mine. Nothing could ever separate him from me now. I was too strong to betorn from his side.
He was very quick. He turned to me and gazed curiously at my gloating expression.
"No longer thirsty?" he asked.
I shrugged. "You distracted me. You're much better at it than I am.""Centuries of practice." He smiled. His eyes were a disconcertingly lovely shade of honey gold now.
"Just one," I corrected him.
He laughed. "Are you done for today? Or did you want to continue?""Done, I think." I felt very full, sort of sloshy, even. I wasn't sure how much more liquid would fit into mybody. But the burn in my throat was only muted. Then again, I'd known that thirst was just aninescapable part of this life.
And worth it.
I felt in control. Perhaps my sense of security was false, but I did feel pretty good about not killinganyone today. If I could resist totally human strangers, wouldn't I be able to handle the werewolf and ahalf-vampire child that I loved?
"I want to see Renesmee," I said. Now that my thirst was tamed (if nothing close to erased), my earlierworries were hard to forget. I wanted to reconcile the stranger who was my daughter with the creatureI'd loved three days ago. It was so odd, so wrong not to have her inside me still. Abruptly, I felt emptyand uneasy.
He held out his hand to me. I took it, and his skin felt warmer than before. His cheek was faintly flushed,the shadows under his eyes all but vanished.
I was unable to resist stroking his face again. And again.
I sort of forgot that I was waiting for a response to my request as I stared into his shimmering gold eyes.
It was almost as hard as it had been to turn away from the scent of human blood, but I somehow keptthe need to be careful firmly in my head as I stretched up on my toes and wrapped my arms around him.
Gently.
He was not so hesitant in his movements; his arms locked around my waist and pulled me tight againsthis body. His lips crushed down on mine, but they felt soft. My lips no longer shaped themselves aroundhis; they held their own.
Like before, it was as if the touch of his skin, his lips, his hands, was sinking right through my smooth,hard skin and into my new bones. To the very core of my body. I hadn't imagined that I could love himmore than I had.
My old mind hadn't been capable of holding this much love. My old heart had not been strong enough tobear it.
Maybe this was the part of me that I'd brought forward to be intensified in my new life. Like Carlisle'scompassion and Esme's devotion. I would probably never be able to do anything interesting or speciallike Edward, Alice, and Jasper could do. Maybe I would just love Edward more than anyone in thehistory of the world had ever loved anyone else.
I could live with that.
I remembered parts of this—twisting my fingers in his hair, tracing the planes of his chest—but otherparts were so new. He was new. It was an entirely different experience with Edward kissing me sofearlessly, so forcefully. I responded to his intensity, and then suddenly we were falling.
"Oops," I said, and he laughed underneath me. "I didn't mean to tackle you like that. Are you okay?"He stroked my face. "Slightly better than okay" And then a perplexed expression crossed his face.
"Renesmee?" he asked uncertainly, trying to ascertain what I wanted most in this moment. A very difficultquestion to answer, because I wanted so many things at the same time.
I could tell that he wasn't exactly averse to procrastinating our return trip, and it was hard to think aboutmuch besides his skin on mine—there really wasn't that much left of the dress. But my memory ofRenesmee, before and after her birth, was becoming more and more dreamlike to me. More unlikely. Allmy memories of her were human memories; an aura of artificiality clung to them. Nothing seemed realthat I hadn't seen with these eyes, touched with these hands.
Every minute, the reality of that little stranger slipped further away.
"Renesmee," I agreed, rueful, and I whipped back up onto my feet, pulling him with me.