It was the girlfriend hour -- a family tradition. Georgia had devised it years ago -- before there were any kids to care about, or so family legend had it. Every holiday, for one hour, while the men were watching football, the women gathered in the living room to have cocktails and catch up on the news. They all knew that soon enough there would be a Herculean amount of work to do in the kitchen, but for sixty minutes, no one cared.
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Kate sat on the threadbare arm of the cherry-red sofa that had been the centerpiece of this living room for as long as she could remember. Tully sat cross-legged on the floor at Mom's feet. It was her usual spot on holidays. Tully rarely liked to be too far from the woman she considered the perfect mother. Mom, in Dad's La-Z-Boy, was across from Georgia, who sat on the sofa.
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Thanksgiving in the Mularkey household was always a spectacle. Aunt Georgia and Uncle Ralph drove over from eastern Washington, bringing enough food with them to feed an entire community. In years past, they'd had their four children with them, but now those kids were adults themselves and sometimes had other families to visit on the holiday. This year, Georgia and Ralph were alone, and looking a little dazed by their situation. Georgia had poured herself a drink before she even bothered saying hello to anyone in the house.
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"You should see what I got to do this week," Tully said, rising to her knees in her excitement. Kate couldn't help noticing that she looked like a supplicant, waiting for Mom's blessing. "You know the Spokane rapist case? Well," she said dramatically, luring them in, "the guy they arrested? His mother hired someone to kill the judge and prosecutor. Can you believe it? And Johnny -- that's my boss -- he let me do a first draft of the copy. They even used a sentence I wrote. It was so cool. Next week he's letting me tag along to an interview with a guy who invented some new kind of computer."
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It was funny how an album, or even just a song, could remind you of so many moments in your life. Kate didn't think there had ever been any family event -- Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, the yearly camping trip -- that had been Elvis-free. It just wasn't a Mularkey family moment without him. Mom and Georgia made sure of that. His death hadn't changed the tradition at all, but sometimes, if they drank enough, they'd hug each other and cry for the loss of him.
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This year, for the first time ever, Mom had poured glasses of white wine for Kate and Tully. It made Kate feel very grown up to sit here on the arm of the sofa, sipping her wine. Already the first Christmas album of the year was on the turntable. Elvis, naturally, singing about the little boy in the ghetto.
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Kate had to say something now. This was spinning out of control, and honestly, today was a good time to come clean. A round of drinks had softened everyone. "I should tell you --"
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"You're really on your way now, Tully," Mom said, smiling down at her.
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"We'll be more famous than Jean Enersen, Mrs. M.," Tully said, laughing. "And definitely richer."
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"Not just me, Mrs. M.," Tully said. "It's going to work out with Kate, too. I'll get her an internship at the station; you'll see. I'm already starting to drop hints. Someday you'll see us both on TV. The first pair of female anchors on a network news show."
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"Anchors?" Kate said, straightening. "I thought we were going to be reporters."
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"Think of it, Margie," Georgia said dreamily.
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Aunt Georgia patted Kate's thigh. "Everyone in the family is so proud of you, Katie. You'll make a name for all of us."
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"Imagine being rich," Mom said.
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Tully grinned. "With our ambition? Are you kidding? We're going straight to the top, Katie."
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Kate sighed. Once again she'd lost her chance. Getting up, she walked across the room, past the corner where soon the Christmas tree would be placed, and stood at the window, looking out over the pasture. A blanket of glittery white coated the field, created sparkly mounds on the fence posts. Moonlight turned everything a beautiful frosty blue and white; with the black velvet sky, it looked like a greeting card. As a girl, she'd waited impatiently for this unexpected weather, prayed for it for months, and no wonder. Covered in snow, Firefly Lane looked like something out of a fairy tale. The kind of place where nothing could ever go wrong, where a girl should be able to simply tell her family that she'd changed her mind.
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The last few months of their senior year were perfection. Although Tully spent more than twenty-five hours a week at the station where she was interning, and Kate spent an equal number of hours working at Starbucks, the new designer coffee shop in the Pike Place Market, they made sure to spend a lot of their weekend time together, playing pool and drinking beer at Goldies or listening to music at the Blue Moon Tavern. Tully spent a lot of her nights at Chad's, but Kate didn't say much about that. Truthfully, she was having too much fun dating to hassle Tully about her choices.
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The only problem in Kate's life -- and it was a biggie -- was her upcoming graduation. She was going to graduate next month with honors, with a degree in communications/broadcast journalism, and she still hadn't told anyone that it wasn't her dream job.
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Now, though, she was going to come clean. She was in one of the third-floor phone rooms, folded up to fit, and she'd just dialed home.
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Mom answered on the second ring. "Hello?"
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"Hey, Mom."
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"What does it look like?" Kate was stalling; with half an ear, she listened to her mom's description. Mom had just said something about shoulder pads and glitter when Kate jumped in. "I just applied for a job at Nordstrom, Mom. In the advertising department."
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There was a noticeable pause on the other end, then the telltale sound of a cigarette being lit. "I thought you and Tully were going to be --"
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"I know." Kate leaned back against the wall. "A reporting team. World-famous and rich."
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"What's really going on, Kathleen?"
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"Katie! What a great surprise. I can't remember the last time you called in the middle of the week. You must be psychic: Dad and I just got home from the mall. You should see the dress I got for graduation. It's beautiful. Don't let anyone tell you JC Penney doesn't have great clothes."
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Kate tried to put her indecision into words. She just didn't know what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. She believed there had to be something special out there for her, a path that was hers alone and held happiness at its end, but where was the start of it? "I'm not like Tully," she finally said, admitting the truth she'd known for a long time. "I don't eat, sleep, and breathe the news. Sure, I'm good enough to get all A's and my profs love me because I'm never late with an assignment, but journalism -- TV or print -- is a jungle. I'll be eaten alive by people like Tully who'll do anything for a scoop. It's just not realistic to think I can make it."
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"Realistic? Realistic is your dad and me trying to manage our expenses when they keep cutting his hours at the plant. Realistic is me being a smart woman who can't get a job at anything better than minimum wage because I have no education and all I've done is raise kids. Believe me, Katie, you don't want to be realistic at your age. There's plenty of time for that. Now you should dream big and reach high."
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"I wish I knew."
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"Where are we going?"
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"You'll see." Tully led her out of the house and down to the parking lot, where her new blue VW bug waited.
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"Mom."
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"Oh, Katie… I think you're afraid to reach for the brass ring. Don't be."
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"What?"
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"I just want something different."
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The door swung open to reveal Tully. "There you are. I've been looking everywhere. Who are you talking to?"
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Before Katie could answer, there was a knock at the door. "I'm in here," she called out.
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Tully yanked the phone from Kate and said, "Hey, Mrs. M. I'm kidnapping your daughter. We'll call back later. 'Bye." She hung up, then turned to Kate. "You're coming with me."
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All the way into downtown Seattle, Kate asked where they were going and what was up until they pulled up in front of a small office building.
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Kate rolled her eyes. Now she knew what was happening: Tully wanted to show off some new triumph -- a reel, a tape, a story she'd done that had actually been aired. As usual, Kate followed. "Look, Tully," she said as they made their way down the colorless hallway and into the small, cluttered space that was the Seattle office of KCPO-TV, "I need to tell you something."
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"Carol Mansour -- she's the reporter -- is at a city council meeting," Tully said, leading Kate toward a closed door.
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"This is where I work," Tully said when she turned off the engine. "I can't believe you've never been here before. Oh, well, you're here now."
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Tully opened the door. "Sure. Later. That's Mutt, by the way." She pointed to a huge, long-haired, hunched-over guy standing by the open window, who was blowing his cigarette smoke outside.
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"Hey," he said, barely lifting a single finger in greeting.
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As if Kate hadn't been hearing Carol Mansour stories forever.
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A man looked up from behind his desk. "You're Kate Mularkey, huh?"
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Tully stopped at the door and knocked. When a male voice answered, Tully opened the door and pulled Kate inside. "Johnny? This is my friend Katie."
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He was, hands down, the best-looking man Kate had ever seen. He was older than they were, but not by much; maybe five or six years. His long black hair was thick and feathered back, with the barest hint of curl at the ends. Prominent cheekbones and a smallish chin could have made him look pretty, but there was nothing feminine about him. When he smiled at her, she drew in a sharp breath, feeling a jolt of pure physical attraction that was unlike anything she'd ever experience before.
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She was going to kill Tully.
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And here she stood, dressed for work in her preppy Gloria Vanderbilt jeans, penny loafers, and red V-neck sweater. All of last night's curl had fallen out of her hair and she hadn't redone it this morning. She hadn't bothered with makeup, either.
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He laughed at that; it was a rich, contagious sound that made her smile, too. "Please, don't call me sir. It makes me think some old guy is behind me." He leaned forward. "So, Kate, what do you think?"
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He glanced at the door, said, "Hmmm, that's interesting," then looked at her again. "We have an opening for an office person. Carol used to do all of the phones and filing, but she's going to have a baby, so the cheap-ass station manager has finally kicked in for a little help."
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She sat down, perching nervously on the edge of the chair.
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"You're lucky. She's a special girl."
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"The job."
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"But Tully --"
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"Please. Have a seat," he said indicating the empty chair across from his desk.
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"She wants to stay an intern. Says that thanks to her grandmother she doesn't need the money. Between you and me, she's not great at answering the phones anyway."
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"Well, she is my best friend."
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"Tully tells me you're a genius."
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"Yes, sir, she is."
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"About what?"
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"I'll leave you two alone," Tully said, skipping out of the office, closing the door behind her.
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"What job?"
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"Minimum wage, of course."
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"Come on," he said, smiling. "How can you turn me down? You can be a receptionist in an ugly office for next to no money. Isn't it every college grad's dream?"
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This was all coming at Kate too fast. Only an hour ago, she'd finally admitted that she didn't want to go into broadcasting, and now here she was being offered a job every kid in her department at UW would kill for.
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She couldn't help laughing. "When you put it that way, how could I refuse?"
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"What's the pay?" she asked, stalling.
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She did the math in her head. With tips, she made close to double that much at Starbucks.
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"It's a start in the glamorous world of TV news, right?"
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He looked surprised by the question, and for the first time he really looked at her. His fake smile faded, and the look in his blue eyes turned hard, cynical. "Not in this office."
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His smile was like some kind of superpower that scrambled her thoughts. "Is it? Glamorous, I mean?"
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He got to her. She didn't know why, but it was powerful, this attraction she felt. Nothing like how she'd responded to college boys. It was another reason not to take the job.
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Behind her, the door opened. Tully came through, practically bouncing. "Well, did you say yes?"
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Then again, she was twenty-one years old and he was offering her a start in television.
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"Sure," she said at last. "I'll try it, Mr. Ryan."
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It was crazy to take a job because you were hot for the boss.
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But how could she say no? Maybe in a real job she'd find that passion and brilliance she needed. The more she thought about it, the more possible it seemed. School wasn't the real world. Perhaps that was why the news business hadn't seized hold of her. Here, the stories would matter.
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"All right," Tully said, clapping her hands together.
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Kate couldn't help noticing how her friend instantly seized Johnny's full attention. He was sitting at his desk now, staring at Tully.
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"Call me Johnny." The smile he gave her was so unsettling she actually had to look away. She was sure somehow that he could see inside her or hear how fast he made her heart beat. "Okay, Johnny."
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She didn't look at Tully. If she did, Kate knew she'd feel as if she were selling out, following again, and for all the wrong reasons.
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That was when Kate knew she'd made a mistake.
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Kate stared at herself in the small oval mirror above the dresser. Her long, straight, highlighted hair was drawn back from her face and held in place by a black velvet headband. Pale blue eye shadow and two coats of green mascara accentuated the color of her eyes, and pink lip gloss and blush gave her skin some color.
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"You'll learn to love the news," she said to her reflection. "And you're not just following Tully."
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"Hurry up, Kate," Tully called out, knocking hard on the bedroom door. "You don't want to be late on your first day of work. I'll be down in the parking lot."
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In this last week of school, the hallways were crazy-busy with girls studying for finals, saying goodbye, and packing up their things. Kate wound through the melee and went out to the small parking lot behind the house, where Tully sat in her brand-new VW Bug, with the engine running.
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"Okay, so maybe you are following her." Grabbing her briefcase off the twin bed that was hers, she left her bedroom and headed downstairs.
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Tully laughed. "Just because I slept with my prof doesn't mean every boss is fair game."
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The second Kate sat down and slammed the door shut, they were off. Prince's Purple Rain soundtrack blared from the tiny speakers. Tully had to yell over the music.
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Kate nodded. "It sure is." She had to admit she was excited. After all, she was a college graduate -- or would be soon -- and she'd found an excellent starter position in her major field. It didn't matter that Tully had gotten the job for her, or that she was essentially following her best friend. What mattered was doing this job to the best of her abilities and finding out if broadcast journalism was for her. "Tell me about our boss," she said, turning down the stereo.
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"Johnny? He's totally good at what he does. Used to be a war correspondent. In El Salvador or Libya; who the hell knows? I hear he misses combat, but he's a great producer. You can learn a lot from him."
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"This is so great, isn't it? Us finally going to work together."
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"Have you ever wanted to go out with him?"
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Kate was relieved by that; more so than she should be. She wanted to ask if Johnny was married -- she'd wanted to ask the question for almost a week -- but she couldn't quite form the words. They'd be too revealing.
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"Here we are." Tully pulled up to the curb outside the building and parked. All the way up the stairs and down the hall, she talked about how great it was going to be to work together, but once they were in the small, cramped set of offices, she made a beeline for Mutt and huddled with him.
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She had just decided to take off her jacket when Johnny appeared, looking both incredibly handsome and profoundly pissed off.
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Kate stood there, clutching her fake leather briefcase to her chest, wondering what she should do.
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"Mutt! Carol!" he yelled, even though they were all standing right there. "That new company, Microsoft, is announcing something. I don't know what the hell it is. Mike is faxing the info. They want you to go to the company headquarters and see if you can talk to the boss. Bill Gates."
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Tully surged forward. "Can I tag along?"
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"Who cares? It's a bullshit story," Johnny said, then went back into his office and slammed the door.
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The next few moments were a blur of chaotic movement. Carol, Tully, and Mutt gathered up their supplies and rushed out of the office.
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Kate stood there after they left, in the now-quiet, vacant office, wondering what in the hell she was supposed to do.
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She peeled out of her jacket, hung it over her chair back and sat down, then answered. "KCPO news. This is Kathleen. How may I help you?"
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"Hey, honey, it's Mom and Dad. We just wanted to call and say have a great first day at work. We're so proud of you."
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Beside her, the phone rang.
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Kate was hardly surprised. Some things in life never changed; her family was one of them. She loved them for it. "Thanks, guys."
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For the next few hours, she found it remarkably easy to fill her time. The phone rang almost constantly, and the in-box on her desk looked as if it hadn't been touched in years. The files were an absolute mess.
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Certainly she was allowed a lunch break? She got up from her desk and crossed the now-clean office. At Johnny's door, she paused, gathered her courage to knock, but before she could do it, she heard yelling from his side of the door. He was on the phone, arguing with someone.
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She became so engrossed in her work that the next time she looked at the clock it was one o'clock and she was starving.
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It was better not to interrupt. She set the phone's answering machine on automatic pickup and ran downstairs to the deli. There, she bought herself half a ham and cheese sandwich. On impulse, she bought a cup of clam chowder and a BLT as well. A pair of Cokes finished her order. Bag in hand, she ran upstairs and switched the phones back on.
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Then she went to Johnny's door again; silence came from the other side.
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"Come in."
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She knocked timidly.
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She opened the door.
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He sat at his desk, looking tired. His long hair was a mess, as if he'd been running his fingers through it constantly, shoving it back from his face. Dozens of newspapers covered his desk, so many that even the phone was hidden. "Mularkey," he said, sighing. "Shit. I forgot you started today."
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"Lunch. I thought you might be hungry."
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She moved to the desk, began unpacking their lunch. All the while she felt him watching her, those flame-blue eyes of his intently staring. It made her so nervous she almost spilled the chowder.
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"Come on in. What do you have there?"
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"A caretaker." He picked up the spoon. "Let me guess: You grew up in a happy family. Two kids and a dog. No divorce."
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"Hot soup," he said, his voice low now, intimate. "So you're one of those."
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"Oh." She tried to think of something else to say. "Are you married?" popped out before she could stop it.
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She sat down, looking at him, unable not to. "One of those?"
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"Was that wrong? I'm sorry, I --"
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She laughed. "Guilty. How about you?"
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"You bought me lunch?"
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"No dog. Not so happy."
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"Sit down." He pointed at the chair opposite his desk. "I appreciate it, really. I can't remember the last time I ate."
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Kate wanted to make a joke about it, but her voice wouldn't cooperate. She was so keenly aware of him, it was vaguely disturbing that he hadn't even known she was here.
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She smiled. "No."
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"Good for you. This is a job that takes focus."
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"Nope. Never. You?"
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"I guess you loved that, huh?"
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Kate felt like an imposter. Here she was, sitting across from her boss, trying to focus on saying something that would make him admire her, and she couldn't even make eye contact. It was crazy. He wasn't that good-looking. Something about him just hit her so damn hard she couldn't think straight. Finally she said, "You think they'll come up with a good story at Microsoft?"
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"Tully told me you used to be a war correspondent."
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She saw something flash through his eyes then; her first instinct would have been to label it sadness, but how could she know? "It was insane."
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"Israel invaded Lebanon yesterday. Did you know that? They've driven the Palestinians back to Beirut. That's the real story. And we're in the shit-ass office, dicking around with soft news." He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just having a bad day. And it's your first." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "And you bought me soup. Tomorrow I'll play nice, I promise."
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"Yeah."
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"I'm not that much younger than you. Try me."
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"Passion," he said simply, packing the empty sandwich wrapper into the Styrofoam soup cup.
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He looked at her then, and for a split second, she knew she'd gotten his attention. "Did you find enough to keep yourself busy this morning?"
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"How come you quit?"
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He sighed. "Sometimes life kicks the shit out of you; that's all. It's like the Stones said: You can't always get what you want."
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"You're too young to understand."
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"Don't worry. You didn't get your friend in trouble. Believe me, I know what to expect from Tully."
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He laughed. It transformed his face, made him so handsome she drew in a sharp breath. "We've been trying to get Tully to do all that for months."
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Kate almost flinched at the way he said it, and she knew suddenly that she was in trouble. No matter how often she reminded herself that he was her boss, it didn't matter. In the end, what mattered was how she felt when she was near him.
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"The files were a mess. So was the in-box. And I organized and shelved all those tapes that were in the corner."
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"I didn't mean --"
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"The song says something about getting what you need instead."
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"What's that?"
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Mostly she remembered the way he'd smiled in admiration when he'd said it.
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And yet, for the rest of the day, as she answered the phones and filed papers, she replayed in her head that last moment with him and the easy, straightforward way he'd answered her question about Tully: passion.
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Falling. There was no other word to describe it.
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