Fal.
The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on. Now, the
hot-blooded gods assist me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull for thy
Europa; love set on thy horns. O powerful love! that, in some
respects,
5
makes a beast a man; in some other, a man a beast. You were also,
Jupiter, a swan for the love of Leda. O omnipotent Love! how
near the god drew to the complexion of a goose!—A fault done first
in the form of a beast;—O Jove, a beastly fault! And then
another fault in the semblance
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of a fowl;—think on’t, Jove; a foul fault! When gods have hot
backs, what shall poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor stag;
and the fattest, I think, i’ the forest. Send me a cool rut-time,
Jove, or who can blame me to piss my tallow?—Who comes here? my
doe?
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Mrs Ford.
Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer?
Fal.
My doe with the black scut! Let the sky rain potatoes; let it thunder to
the tune of Green Sleeves, hail kissing-comfits, and snow eringoes; let
there come a tempest
20
of provocation, I will shelter me here.
Mrs Ford.
Mistress Page is come with me, sweetheart.
Fal.
Divide me like a bribe buck, each a haunch: I will keep my sides to
myself, my shoulders for the fellow of this walk, and my horns I
bequeath your husbands.
V. 5.
25 Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome!
25 Am I a woodman, ha? Speak I like Herne the hunter? Why, now is Cupid a child of conscience; he makes restitution. As I am a true spirit, welcome!
Noise within.
Mrs Page.
Alas, what noise?
Mrs Ford.
Heaven forgive our sins!
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Fal.
What should this be?
They run off.
Fal. I think the devil will not have me damned,
lest the oil that’s in me should set hell on fire; he would never else
cross me thus.
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Quick. Fairies, black, grey, green, and
white,
You moonshine revellers, and shades of night,
You orphan heirs of fixed destiny,
Attend your office and your quality.
Crier Hobgoblin, make the fairy oyes.
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Pist.
Elves, list your names; silence, you airy toys.
Cricket, to Windsor chimneys shalt thou leap:
Where fires thou find’st unraked and hearths unswept,
There pinch the maids as blue as bilberry:
Our radiant queen hates sluts and sluttery.
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Fal.
They are fairies; he that speaks to them shall die: I’ll wink and couch:
no man their works must eye.
Lies down upon his face.
Evans.
Where’s Bede? Go you, and where you find a maid
That, ere she sleep, has thrice her prayers said,
Raise up the organs of her fantasy;
V. 5.
50 Sleep she as sound as careless infancy:
50 Sleep she as sound as careless infancy:
But those as sleep and think not on their sins,
Pinch them, arms, legs, backs, shoulders, sides, and shins.
Quick. About, about;
Search Windsor Castle, elves, within and out:
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Strew good luck, ouphes, on every sacred room;
That it may stand till the perpetual doom,
In state
as wholesome as in state ’tis fit,
Worthy the owner, and the owner it.
The several chairs of order look you scour
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With juice of balm and every precious flower:
Each fair instalment, coat, and several crest,
With loyal blazon, evermore be blest!
And nightly, meadow-fairies, look you sing,
Like to the Garter’s compass, in a ring:
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Th’ expressure that it bears, green let it be,
More
fertile-fresh than all the field to see;
And Honi soit qui mal y pense write
In emerald tufts, flowers purple, blue, and white;
Like sapphire, pearl, and rich embroidery,
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Buckled below fair knighthood’s bending knee:
Fairies use flowers for their charactery.
Away; disperse: but till ’tis one o’clock,
Our dance of custom round about the oak
Of Herne the hunter, let us not forget.
V. 5.
75 Evans. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set;
75 Evans. Pray you, lock hand in hand; yourselves in order set;
And twenty glow-worms shall our lanterns be,
To guide our measure round about the tree.—
But, stay; I smell a man of middle-earth.
Fal.
Heavens defend me from that Welsh fairy, lest he
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transform me to a piece of cheese!
Pist.
Vile worm, thou wast o’erlook’d even in thy birth.
Quick.
With trial-fire touch me his finger-end:
If he be chaste, the flame will back descend,
And turn him to no pain; but if he start,
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It is the flesh of a corrupted heart.
Pist.
A trial, come.
Evans.
Come, will this wood take fire?
They burn him with their tapers.
Fal.
Oh, Oh, Oh!
Quick.
Corrupt, corrupt, and tainted in desire!
About him, fairies; sing a scornful rhyme;
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And, as you trip, still pinch him to your time.
Fie on sinful fantasy!
Fie on lust and luxury!
Lust is but a bloody fire,
Kindled with unchaste desire,
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Fed in heart, whose flames aspire,
As thoughts do blow them, higher and higher.
Pinch him, fairies, mutually;
Pinch him for his villany;
Pinch him, and burn him, and turn him about,
V. 5.
100 Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out.
100 Till candles and starlight and moonshine be out.
