I HAVE FORESEEN . . . ,” ALICE BEGAN IN AN OMINOUS tone.
Edward threw an elbow toward her ribs, which she neatly dodged.
Fine,” she grumbled. “Edward is making me do this. But I did foresee that you would be more difficult if Isurprised you.
We were walking to the car after school, and I was completely clueless as to what she was talking about.
In English?” I requested.
Don’t be a baby about this. No tantrums.
Now I’m scared.
So you’re — I mean we’re — having a graduation party. It’s no big thing. Nothing to freak out over. ButI saw that you would freak out if I tried to make it a surprise party” — she danced out of the way as Edwardreached over to muss her hair — “and Edward said I had to tell you. But it’s nothing. Promise.
I sighed heavily. “Is there any point in arguing
None at all.
Okay, Alice. I’ll be there. And I’ll hate every minute of it. Promise.
That’s the spirit! By the way, I love my gift. You shouldn’t have.
Alice, I didn’t
Oh, I know that. But you will.
I racked my brains in panic, trying to remember what I’d ever decided to get her for graduation that shemight have seen.
Amazing,” Edward muttered. “How can someone so tiny be so annoying
Alice laughed. “It’s a talent.
Couldn’t you have waited a few weeks to tell me about this?” I asked petulantly. “Now I’ll just bestressed that much longer.
Alice frowned at me.
Bella,” she said slowly. “Do you know what day it is
Monday
She rolled her eyes. “Yes. It is Monday . . . the fourth.” She grabbed my elbow, spun me halfway around,and pointed toward a big yellow poster taped to the gym door. There, in sharp black letters, was the date ofgraduation. Exactly one week from today.
It’s the fourth? Of June? Are you sure
Neither one answered. Alice just shook her head sadly, feigning disappointment, and Edward’s eyebrowslifted.
It can’t be! How did that happen?” I tried to count backwards in my head, but I couldn’t figure outwhere the days had gone.
I felt like someone had kicked my legs out from under me. The weeks of stress, of worry . . . somehow inthe middle of all my obsessing over the time, my time had disappeared. My space for sorting through it all, formaking plans, had vanished. I was out of time.
And I wasn’t ready.
I didn’t know how to do this. How to say goodbye to Charlie and Renée . . . to Jacob . . . to beinghuman.
I knew exactly what I wanted, but I was suddenly terrified of getting it.
In theory, I was anxious, even eager to trade mortality for immortality. After all, it was the key to stayingwith Edward forever. And then there was the fact that I was being hunted by known and unknown parties. I’drather not sit around, helpless and delicious, waiting for one of them to catch up with me.
In theory, that all made sense.
In practice . . . being human was all I knew. The future beyond that was a big, dark abyss that I couldn’tknow until I leaped into it.
This simple knowledge, today’s date — which was so obvious that I must have been subconsciouslyrepressing it — made the deadline I’d been impatiently counting down toward feel like a date with the firingsquad.
In a vague way, I was aware of Edward holding the car door for me, of Alice chattering from thebackseat, of the rain hammering against the windshield. Edward seemed to realize I was only there in body; hedidn’t try to pull me out of my abstraction. Or maybe he did, and I was past noticing.
We ended up at my house, where Edward led me to the sofa and pulled me down next to him. I staredout the window, into the liquid gray haze, and tried to find where my resolve had gone. Why was I panickingnow? I’d known the deadline was coming. Why should it frighten me that it was here
I don’t know how long he let me stare out the window in silence. But the rain was disappearing intodarkness when it was finally too much for him.
He put his cold hands on either side of my face and fixed his golden eyes on mine.
Would you please tell me what you are thinking? Before I go mad
What could I say to him? That I was a coward? I searched for words.
Your lips are white. Talk, Bella.
I exhaled in a big gust. How long had I been holding my breath
The date took me off guard,” I whispered. “That’s all.
He waited, his face full of worry and skepticism.
I tried to explain. “I’m not sure what to do . . . what to tell Charlie . . . what to say . . . how to . . .” Myvoice trailed off.
This isn’t about the party
I frowned. “No. But thanks for reminding me.
The rain was louder as he read my face.
You’re not ready,” he whispered.
I am,” I lied immediately, a reflex reaction. I could tell he saw through it, so I took a deep breath, andtold the truth. “I have to be.
You don’t have to be anything.
I could feel the panic surfacing in my eyes as I mouthed the reasons. “Victoria, Jane, Caius, whoever wasin my room . . .
All the more reason to wait.
That doesn’t make any sense, Edward
He pressed his hands more tightly to my face and spoke with slow deliberation.
Bella. Not one of us had a choice. You’ve seen what it’s done . . . to Rosalie especially. We’ve allstruggled, trying to reconcile ourselves with something we had no control over. I won’t let it be that way foryou. You will have a choice.
I’ve already made my choice.
You aren’t going through with this because a sword is hanging over your head. We will take care of theproblems, and I will take care of you,” he vowed. “When we’re through it, and there is nothing forcing yourhand, then you can decide to join me, if you still want to. But not because you’re afraid. You won’t be forcedinto this.
Carlisle promised,” I mumbled, contrary out of habit. “After graduation.
Not until you’re ready,” he said in a sure voice. “And definitely not while you feel threatened.
I didn’t answer. I didn’t have it in me to argue; I couldn’t seem to find my commitment at the moment.
There.” He kissed my forehead. “Nothing to worry about.
I laughed a shaky laugh. “Nothing but impending doom.
Trust me.
I do.
He was still watching my face, waiting for me to relax.
Can I ask you something?” I said.
Anything.
I hesitated, biting my lip, and then asked a different question than the one I was worried about.
What am I getting Alice for graduation
He snickered. “It looked like you were getting us both concert tickets
That’s right!” I was so relieved, I almost smiled. “The concert in Tacoma. I saw an ad in the paper lastweek, and I thought it would be something you’d like, since you said it was a good CD.
It’s a great idea. Thank you.
I hope it’s not sold out.
It’s the thought that counts. I ought to know.
I sighed.
There’s something else you meant to ask,” he said.
I frowned. “You’re good.
I have lots of practice reading your face. Ask me.
I closed my eyes and leaned into him, hiding my face against his chest. “You don’t want me to be avampire.
No, I don’t,” he said softly, and then he waited for more. “That’s not a question,” he prompted after amoment.
Well . . . I was worrying about . . . why you feel that way.
Worrying?” He picked out the word with surprise.
Would you tell me why? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings
He hesitated for a minute. “If I answer your question, will you then explain your question
I nodded, my face still hidden.
He took a deep breath before he answered. “You could do so much better, Bella. I know that you believeI have a soul, but I’m not entirely convinced on that point, and to risk yours . . .” He shook his head slowly.
For me to allow this — to let you become what I am just so that I’ll never have to lose you — is the mostselfish act I can imagine. I want it more than anything, for myself. But for you, I want so much more. Giving in— it feels criminal. It’s the most selfish thing I’ll ever do, even if I live forever.
If there were any way for me to become human for you — no matter what the price was, I would pay it.
I sat very still, absorbing this.
Edward thought he was being selfish.
I felt the smile slowly spread across my face.
So . . . it’s not that you’re afraid you won’t . . . like me as much when I’m different — when I’m not softand warm and I don’t smell the same? You really do want to keep me, no matter how I turn out
He exhaled sharply. “You were worried I wouldn’t like you?” he demanded. Then, before I couldanswer, he was laughing. “Bella, for a fairly intuitive person, you can be so obtuse
I knew he would think it silly, but I was relieved. If he really wanted me, I could get through the rest . . .
somehow. Selfish suddenly seemed like a beautiful word.
I don’t think you realize how much easier it will be for me, Bella,” he said, the echo of his humor still therein his voice, “when I don’t have to concentrate all the time on not killing you. Certainly, there are things I’llmiss. This for one . . .
He stared into my eyes as he stroked my cheek, and I felt the blood rush up to color my skin. He laughedgently.
And the sound of your heart,” he continued, more serious but still smiling a little. “It’s the most significantsound in my world. I’m so attuned to it now, I swear I could pick it out from miles away. But neither of thesethings matter. This,” he said, taking my face in his hands. “You. That’s what I’m keeping. You’ll always be myBella, you’ll just be a little more durable.
I sighed and let my eyes close in contentment, resting there in his hands.
Now will you answer a question for me? The whole truth, not sparing my feelings?” he asked.
Of course,” I answered at once, my eyes opening wide with surprise. What would he want to know
He spoke the words slowly. “You don’t want to be my wife.
My heart stopped, and then broke into a sprint. A cold sweat dewed on the back of my neck and myhands turned to ice.
He waited, watching and listening to my reaction.
That’s not a question,” I finally whispered.
He looked down, his lashes casting long shadows across his cheekbones, and dropped his hands from my face to pick up my frozen left hand. He played with my fingers while he spoke.
I was worrying about why you felt that way.
I tried to swallow. “That’s not a question, either,” I whispered.
Please, Bella
The truth?” I asked, only mouthing the words.
Of course. I can take it, whatever it is.
I took a deep breath. “You’re going to laugh at me.
His eyes flashed up to mine, shocked. “Laugh? I cannot imagine that.
You’ll see,” I muttered, and then I sighed. My face went from white to scarlet in a sudden blaze ofchagrin. “Okay, fine! I’m sure this will sound like some big joke to you, but really! It’s just so . . . so . . . soembarrassing!” I confessed, and I hid my face against his chest again.
There was a brief pause.
I’m not following you.
I tilted my head back and glared at him, embarrassment making me lash out, belligerent.
I’m not that girl, Edward. The one who gets married right out of high school like some small-town hickwho got knocked up by her boyfriend! Do you know what people would think? Do you realize what centurythis is? People don’t just get married at eighteen! Not smart people, not responsible, mature people! I wasn’tgoing to be that girl! That’s not who I am. . . .” I trailed off, losing steam.
Edward’s face was impossible to read as he thought through my answer.
That’s all?” he finally asked.
I blinked. “Isn’t that enough
It’s not that you were . . . more eager for immortality itself than for just me
And then, though I’d predicted that he would laugh, I was suddenly the one having hysterics.
Edward!” I gasped out between the paroxysms of giggles. “And here . . . I always . . . thought that . . .
you were . . . so much . . . smarter than me
He took me in his arms, and I could feel that he was laughing with me.
Edward,” I said, managing to speak more clearly with a little effort, “there’s no point to forever withoutyou. I wouldn’t want one day without you.
Well, that’s a relief,” he said.
Still . . . it doesn’t change anything.
It’s nice to understand, though. And I do understand your perspective, Bella, truly I do. But I’d like itvery much if you’d try to consider mine.
I’d sobered up by then, so I nodded and struggled to keep the frown off my face.
His liquid gold eyes turned hypnotic as they held mine.
You see, Bella, I was always that boy. In my world, I was already a man. I wasn’t looking for love —no, I was far too eager to be a soldier for that; I thought of nothing but the idealized glory of the war that theywere selling prospective draftees then — but if I had found . . .” He paused, cocking his head to the side. “Iwas going to say if I had found someone, but that won’t do. If I had found you, there isn’t a doubt in my mindhow I would have proceeded. I was that boy, who would have — as soon as I discovered that you werewhat I was looking for — gotten down on one knee and endeavored to secure your hand. I would havewanted you for eternity, even when the word didn’t have quite the same connotations.
He smiled his crooked smile at me.
I stared at him with my eyes frozen wide.
Breathe, Bella,” he reminded me, smiling.
I breathed.
Can you see my side, Bella, even a little bit
And for one second, I could. I saw myself in a long skirt and a high-necked lace blouse with my hair piledup on my head. I saw Edward looking dashing in a light suit with a bouquet of wildflowers in his hand, sittingbeside me on a porch swing.
I shook my head and swallowed. I was just having Anne of Green Gables flashbacks.
The thing is, Edward,” I said in a shaky voice, avoiding the question, “in my mind, marriage and eternityare not mutually exclusive or mutually inclusive concepts. And since we’re living in my world for the moment, maybe we should go with the times, if you know what I mean.
But on the other hand,” he countered, “you will soon be leaving time behind you altogether. So whyshould the transitory customs of one local culture affect the decision so much
I pursed my lips. “When in Rome
He laughed at me. “You don’t have to say yes or no today, Bella. It’s good to understand both sides,though, don’t you think
So your condition . . .
Is still in effect. I do see your point, Bella, but if you want me to change you myself. . . .
Dum, dum, dah-dum,” I hummed under my breath. I was going for the wedding march, but it sort ofsounded like a dirge.
Time continued to move too fast.
That night flew by dreamlessly, and then it was morning and graduation was staring me in the face. I had apile of studying to do for my finals that I knew I wouldn’t get halfway through in the few days I had left.
When I came down for breakfast, Charlie was already gone. He’d left the paper on the table, and thatreminded me that I had some shopping to do. I hoped the ad for the concert was still running; I needed thephone number to get the stupid tickets. It didn’t seem like much of a gift now that all the surprise was gone. Ofcourse, trying to surprise Alice wasn’t the brightest plan to begin with.
I meant to flip right back to the entertainment section, but the thick black headline caught my attention. Ifelt a thrill of fear as I leaned closer to read the front-page story.
SEATTLE TERRORIZED BY SLAYINGSIt’s been less than a decade since the city of Seattle was the hunting ground for the most prolificserial killer in U.S. history. Gary Ridgway, the Green River Killer, was convicted of the murders of48 women.
And now a beleaguered Seattle must face the possibility that it could be harboring an even morehorrifying monster at this very moment.
The police are not calling the recent rash of homicides and disappearances the work of a serialkiller. Not yet, at least. They are reluctant to believe so much carnage could be the work of oneindividual. This killer — if, in fact, it is one person — would then be responsible for 39 linkedhomicides and disappearances within the last three months alone. In comparison, Ridgway’s 48-count murder spree was scattered over a 21-year period. If these deaths can be linked to one man,then this is the most violent rampage of serial murder in American history.
The police are leaning instead toward the theory that gang activity is involved. This theory issupported by the sheer number of victims, and by the fact that there seems to be no pattern in thechoice of victims.
From Jack the Ripper to Ted Bundy, the targets of serial killings are usually connected bysimilarities in age, gender, race, or a combination of the three. The victims of this crime wave rangein age from 15-year-old honor student Amanda Reed, to 67-year-old retired postman Omar Jenks.
The linked deaths include a nearly even 18 women and 21 men. The victims are racially diverse
Caucasians, African Americans, Hispanics and Asians.
The selection appears random. The motive seems to be killing for no other reason than to kill.
So why even consider the idea of a serial killer
There are enough similarities in the modus operandi to rule out unrelated crimes. Every victimdiscovered has been burned to the extent that dental records were necessary for identification. Theuse of some kind of accelerant, like gasoline or alcohol, seems to be indicated in the conflagrations;however, no traces of any accelerant have yet been found. All of the bodies have been carelesslydumped with no attempt at concealment.
More gruesome yet, most of the remains show evidence of brutal violence — bones crushed andsnapped by some kind of tremendous pressure — which medical examiners believe occurred before the time of death, though these conclusions are difficult to be sure of, considering the state ofthe evidence.
Another similarity that points to the possibility of a serial: every crime is perfectly clean of evidence,aside from the remains themselves. Not a fingerprint, not a tire tread mark nor a foreign hair is leftbehind. There have been no sightings of any suspect in the disappearances.
Then there are the disappearances themselves — hardly low profile by any means. None of thevictims are what could be viewed as easy targets. None are runaways or the homeless, who vanishso easily and are seldom reported missing. Victims have vanished from their homes, from a fourth-story apartment, from a health club, from a wedding reception. Perhaps the most astounding: 30-year-old amateur boxer Robert Walsh entered a movie theater with a date; a few minutes into themovie, the woman realized that he was not in his seat. His body was found only three hours laterwhen fire fighters were called to the scene of a burning trash Dumpster, twenty miles away.
Another pattern is present in the slayings: all of the victims disappeared at night.
And the most alarming pattern? Acceleration. Six of the homicides were committed in the firstmonth, 11 in the second. Twenty-two have occurred in the last 10 days alone. And the police areno closer to finding the responsible party than they were after the first charred body wasdiscovered.
The evidence is conflicting, the pieces horrifying. A vicious new gang or a wildly active serial killer
Or something else the police haven’t yet conceived of
Only one conclusion is indisputable: something hideous is stalking Seattle.
It took me three tries to read the last sentence, and I realized the problem was my shaking hands.
Bella
Focused as I was, Edward’s voice, though quiet and not totally unexpected, made me gasp and whirl.
He was leaning in the doorway, his eyebrows pulled together. Then he was suddenly at my side, taking myhand.
Did I startle you? I’m sorry. I did knock. . . .
No, no,” I said quickly. “Have you seen this?” I pointed to the paper.
A frown creased his forehead.
I hadn’t seen today’s news yet. But I knew it was getting worse. We’re going to have to do something . .
quickly.
I didn’t like that. I hated any of them taking chances, and whatever or whoever was in Seattle was trulybeginning to frighten me. But the idea of the Volturi coming was just as scary.
What does Alice say
That’s the problem.” His frown hardened. “She can’t see anything . . . though we’ve made up our mindshalf a dozen times to check it out. She’s starting to lose confidence. She feels like she’s missing too muchthese days, that something’s wrong. That maybe her vision is slipping away.
My eyes were wide. “Can that happen
Who knows? No one’s ever done a study . . . but I really doubt it. These things tend to intensify overtime. Look at Aro and Jane.
Then what’s wrong
Self-fulfilling prophecy, I think. We keep waiting for Alice to see something so we can go . . . and shedoesn’t see anything because we won’t really go until she does. So she can’t see us there. Maybe we’ll haveto do it blind.
I shuddered. “No.
Did you have a strong desire to attend class today? We’re only a couple of days from finals; they won’tbe giving us anything new.
I think I can live without school for a day. What are we doing
I want to talk to Jasper.
Jasper, again. It was strange. In the Cullen family, Jasper was always a little on the fringe, part of thingsbut never the center of them. It was my unspoken assumption that he was only there for Alice. I had the sensethat he would follow Alice anywhere, but that this lifestyle was not his first choice. The fact that he was less committed to it than the others was probably why he had more difficulty keeping it up.
At any rate, I’d never seen Edward feel dependent on Jasper. I wondered again what he’d meant aboutJasper’s expertise. I really didn’t know much about Jasper’s history, just that he had come from somewhere inthe south before Alice found him. For some reason, Edward had always shied away from any questions abouthis newest brother. And I’d always been too intimidated by the tall, blond vampire who looked like abrooding movie star to ask him outright.
When we got to the house, we found Carlisle, Esme, and Jasper watching the news intently, though thesound was so low that it was unintelligible to me. Alice was perched on the bottom step of the grand staircase,her face in her hands and her expression discouraged. As we walked in, Emmett ambled through the kitchendoor, seeming perfectly at ease. Nothing ever bothered Emmett.
Hey, Edward. Ditching, Bella?” He grinned at me.
We both are,” Edward reminded him.
Emmett laughed. “Yes, but it’s her first time through high school. She might miss something.
Edward rolled his eyes, but otherwise ignored his favorite brother. He tossed the paper to Carlisle.
Did you see that they’re considering a serial killer now?” he asked.
Carlisle sighed. “They’ve had two specialists debating that possibility on CNN all morning.
We can’t let this go on.
Let’s go now,” Emmett said with sudden enthusiasm. “I’m dead bored.
A hiss echoed down the stairway from upstairs.
She’s such a pessimist,” Emmett muttered to himself.
Edward agreed with Emmett. “We’ll have to go sometime.
Rosalie appeared at the top of the stairs and descended slowly. Her face was smooth, expressionless.
Carlisle was shaking his head. “I’m concerned. We’ve never involved ourselves in this kind of thingbefore. It’s not our business. We aren’t the Volturi.
I don’t want the Volturi to have to come here,” Edward said. “It gives us so much less reaction time.
And all those innocent humans in Seattle,” Esme murmured. “It’s not right to let them die this way.
I know,” Carlisle sighed.
Oh,” Edward said sharply, turning his head slightly to look at Jasper. “I didn’t think of that. I see. You’reright, that has to be it. Well, that changes everything.
I wasn’t the only one who stared at him in confusion, but I might have been the only one who didn’t lookslightly annoyed.
I think you’d better explain to the others,” Edward said to Jasper. “What could be the purpose of this
Edward started to pace, staring at the floor, lost in thought.
I hadn’t seen her get up, but Alice was there beside me. “What is he rambling about?” she asked Jasper.
What are you thinking
Jasper didn’t seem to enjoy the spotlight. He hesitated, reading every face in the circle — for everyonehad moved in to hear what he would say — and then his eyes paused on my face.
You’re confused,” he said to me, his deep voice very quiet.
There was no question in his assumption. Jasper knew what I was feeling, what everyone was feeling.
We’re all confused,” Emmett grumbled.
You can afford the time to be patient,” Jasper told him. “Bella should understand this, too. She’s one ofus now.
His words took me by surprise. As little as I’d had to do with Jasper, especially since my last birthdaywhen he’d tried to kill me, I hadn’t realize that he thought of me that way.
How much do you know about me, Bella?” Jasper asked.
Emmett sighed theatrically, and plopped down on the couch to wait with exaggerated impatience.
Not much,” I admitted.
Jasper stared at Edward, who looked up to meet his gaze.
No,” Edward answered his thought. “I’m sure you can understand why I haven’t told her that story. But Isuppose she needs to hear it now.
Jasper nodded thoughtfully, and then started to roll up the arm of his ivory sweater.
I watched, curious and confused, trying to figure out what he was doing. He held his wrist under the edge of the lampshade beside him, close to the light of the naked bulb, and traced his finger across a raised crescentmark on the pale skin.
It took me a minute to understand why the shape looked strangely familiar.
Oh,” I breathed as realization hit. “Jasper, you have a scar exactly like mine.
I held out my hand, the silvery crescent more prominent against my cream skin than against his alabaster.
Jasper smiled faintly. “I have a lot of scars like yours, Bella.
Jasper’s face was unreadable as he pushed the sleeve of his thin sweater higher up his arm. At first myeyes could not make sense of the texture that was layered thickly across the skin. Curved half-moonscrisscrossed in a feathery pattern that was only visible, white on white as it was, because the bright glow of thelamp beside him threw the slightly raised design into relief, with shallow shadows outlining the shapes. Andthen I grasped that the pattern was made of individual crescents like the one on his wrist . . . the one on myhand.
I looked back at my own small, solitary scar — and remembered how I’d received it. I stared at theshape of James’s teeth, embossed forever on my skin.
And then I gasped, staring up at him. “Jasper, what happened to you