'DAMN ye both! stop, or I will blow your brains out!' Thus it was that
Harry Simms greeted his victims, proving in a phrase that the heroic age
of the rumpad was no more. Forgotten the debonair courtesy of Claude
Duval! Forgotten the lightning wit, the swift repartee of the incomparable
Hind! No longer was the hightoby-gloak a 'gentleman' of the road; he was a
butcher, if not a beggar, on horseback; a braggart without the courage to
pull a trigger; a swashbuckler, oblivious of that ancient style which
converted the misery of surrender into a privilege. Yet Harry Simms, the
supreme adventurer of his age, was not without distinction; his lithe form
and his hard-ridden horse were the common dread of England; his activity
was rewarded with a princely treasure; and if his method were lacking in
urbanity, the excuse is that he danced not to the brilliant measure of the
Cavaliers, but limped to the clumsy fiddle-scraping of the early Georges.
At Eton, where a too-indulgent grandmother had placed him, he ransacked
the desks of his school-fellows, and avenged a birching by emptying his
master's pockets. Wherefore he lost the hope of a polite education, and
instead of proceeding with a clerkly dignity to King's College, in the
University of Cambridge, he was ignominiously apprenticed to a
breeches-maker. The one restraint was as irksome as the other, and Harry
Simms abandoned the needle, as he had scorned the grammar, to go upon the
pad. Though his early companions were scragged at Tyburn, the
light-fingered rascal was indifferent to their fate, and squandering such
booty as fell to his share, he bravely 'turned out' for more. Tottenham
Court Fair was the theatre of his childish exploits, and there he gained
some little skill in the picking of pockets. But a spell of bad trade
brought him to poverty, and he attempted to replenish an empty pocket by
the childish expedient of a threatening letter.
The plan was conceived and executed with a futility which ensured an
instant capture. The bungler chose a stranger at haphazard, commanding
him, under penalty of death, to lay five guineas upon a gun in Tower
Wharf; the guineas were cunningly deposited, and the rascal, caught with
his hand upon the booty, was committed to Newgate. Youth, and the
intercession of his grandmother, procured a release, unjustified by the
infamous stupidity of the trick. Its very clumsiness should have sent him
over sea; and it is wonderful that from a beginning of so little promise,
he should have climbed even the first slopes of greatness. However, the
memory of gaol forced him to a brief interlude of honesty; for a while he
wore the pink coat of Colonel Cunningham's postillion, and presently was
promoted to the independence of a hackney coach.
Thus employed, he became acquainted with the famous Cyprians of Covent
Garden, who, loving him for his handsome face and sprightly gesture,
seduced him to desert his cab for an easier profession. So long as the sky
was fair, he lived under their amiable protection; but the summer having
chased the smarter gentry from town, the ladies could afford him no more
than would purchase a horse and a pair of pistols, so that Harry was
compelled to challenge fortune on the high road. His first journey was
triumphantly successful. A post-chaise and a couple of coaches emptied
their wealth into his hands, and, riding for London, he was able to return
the favours lavished upon him by Covent Garden. At the first touch of gold
he was transformed to a finished blade. He purchased himself a
silver-hilted sword, which he dangled over a discreet suit of black
velvet; a prodigious run of luck at the gaming-tables kept his purse well
lined; and he made so brilliant an appearance in his familiar haunts that
he speedily gained the name of 'Gentleman Harry.' But the money, lightly
won, was lightly spent. The tables took back more than they gave, and
before long Simms was astride his horse again, flourishing his irons, and
crying: 'Stand and deliver'! upon every road in England.
Epping Forest was his general hunting-ground, but his enterprise took him
far afield, and if one night he galloped by starlight across Bagshot
Heath, another he was holding up the York stage with unbridled insolence.
He robbed, he roared, he blustered with praiseworthy industry; and good
luck coming to the aid of caution, he escaped for a while the necessary
punishment of his crimes. It was on Stockbridge Downs that he met his
first check.
He had stopped a chariot, and came off with a hatful of gold, but the
victims, impatient of disaster, raised the county, and Gentleman Harry was
laid by the heels. Never at a loss, he condescended to a cringing
hypocrisy: he whined, he whimpered, he babbled of reform, he plied his
prosecutors with letters so packed with penitence, that they abandoned
their case, and in a couple of days Simms had eased a collector at Eversey
Bank of three hundred pounds. For this enterprise two others climbed the
gallows, and the robber's pride in his capture was miserably lessened by
the shedding of innocent blood.
But he forgot his remorse as speedily as he dissipated his money, and
sentimentality neither damped his enjoyment nor restrained his energy.
Even his brief visits to London were turned to the best account; and,
though he would have the world believe him a mere voluptuary, his eye was
bent sternly upon business. If he did lose his money in a gambling hell,
he knew who won it, and spoke with his opponent on the homeward way. In
his eyes a fuddled rake was always fair game, and the stern windows of St.
Clement's Church looked down upon many a profitable adventure. His most
distinguished journey was to Ireland, whither he set forth to find a
market for his stolen treasure. But he determined that the road should
bear its own charges, and he reached Dublin a richer man than he left
London. In three months he was penniless, but he did not begin trade again
until he had recrossed the Channel, and, having got to work near Chester,
he returned to the Piazza fat with bank-notes.
With success his extravagance increased, and, living the life of a man
about town, he was soon harassed by debt. More than once he was lodged in
the Marshalsea, and as his violent temper resented the interference of a
dun, he became notorious for his assaults upon sheriff's officers. And
thus his poor skill grew poorer: forgetting his trade, he expected that
brandy would ease his embarrassment. At last, sodden with drink, he
enlisted in the Guards, from which regiment he deserted, only to be
pressed aboard a man-of-war. Freed by a clever trick, he took to the road
again, until a paltry theft from a barber transported him to Maryland.
There he turned sailor, and his ship, The Two Sisters, being taken by a
privateer, he contrived to scramble into Portugal, whence he made his way
back to England, and to the only adventure of which he was master. He
landed with no more money than the price of a pistol, but he prigged a
prancer at Bristol horsefair, and set out upon his last journey. The tide
of his fortune was at flood. He crammed his pockets with watches; he was
owner of enough diamonds to set up shop in a fashionable quarter; of
guineas he had as many as would support his magnificence for half a year;
and at last he resolved to quit the road, and to live like the gentleman
he was. To this prudence he was the more easily persuaded, because not
only were the thief-takers eager for his capture, but he was a double-dyed
deserter, whose sole chance of quietude was a decent obscurity.
His resolution was taken at St. Albans, and over a comfortable dinner he
pictured a serene and uneventful future. On the morrow he would set forth
to Dublin, sell his handsome stock of jewels, and forget that the cart
ever lumbered up Tyburn Hill. So elated was he with his growing virtue,
that he called for a second bottle, and as the port heated his blood his
fingers tingled for action. A third bottle proved beyond dispute that only
the craven were idle; 'and why,' he exclaimed, generous with wine, 'should
the most industrious ruffler of England condescend to inaction?' Instantly
he summoned the ostler, screaming for his horse, and before Redburn he had
emptied four pockets, and had exchanged his own tired jade for a fresh and
willing beast. Still exultant in his contempt of cowardice, he faced the
Warrington stage, and made off with his plunder at a drunken gallop.
Arrived at Dunstable, he was so befogged with liquor and pride, that he
entered the 'Bull Inn,' the goal of the very coach he had just
encountered. He had scarce called for a quartern of brandy when the robbed
passengers thronged into the kitchen; and the fright gave him enough
sobriety to leave his glass untasted, and stagger to his horse. In a wild
fury of arrogance and terror, of conflicting vice and virtue, he pressed
on to Hockcliffe, where he took refuge from the rain, and presently,
fuddled with more brandy, he fell asleep over the kitchen fire.
By this time the hue and cry was raised; and as the hero lay helpless in
the corner three troopers burst into the inn, levelled their pistols at
his head, and threatened death if he put his hand to his pocket. Half
asleep, and wholly drunk, he made not he smallest show of resistance; he
surrendered all his money, watches, and diamonds, save a little that was
sewn into his neckcloth, and sulkily crawled up to his bed-chamber.
Thither the troopers followed him, and having restored some nine pounds at
his urgent demand, they watched his heavy slumbers. For all his brandy
Simms slept but uneasily, and awoke in the night sick with the remorse
which is bred of ruined plans and a splitting head. He got up wearily, and
sat over the fire 'a good deal chagrined,' to quote his own simple phrase,
at his miserable capture. Escape seemed hopeless indeed; there crouched
the vigilant troopers, scowling on their prey. A thousand plans chased
each other through the hero's fuddled brain, and at last he resolved to
tempt the cupidity of his guardians, and to make himself master of their
fire-arms. There were still left him a couple of seals, one gold, the
other silver, and watching his opportunity, Simms flung them with a
flourish in the fire. It fell out as he expected; the hungry troopers made
a dash to save the trinkets; the prisoner seized a brace of pistols and
leapt to the door. But, alas, the pistols missed fire, Harry was
immediately overpowered, and on the morrow was carried, sick and sorry,
before the Justice. From Dunstable he travelled his last journey to
Newgate, and, being condemned at the Old Bailey, he was hanged till he was
dead, and his body thereafter was carried for dissection to a surgeon's in
that same Covent Garden where he first deserted his hackney cab for the
pleasures of the town.
'Gentleman Harry' was neither a brilliant thief nor a courteous
highwayman. There was no touch of the grand manner even in his prettiest
achievement. His predecessors had made a pistol and a vizard an
overwhelming terror, and he did but profit by their tradition when he bade
the cowed traveller stand and deliver. His profession, as he practised it,
neither demanded skill nor incurred danger. Though he threatened death at
every encounter, you never hear that he pulled a trigger throughout his
career. If his opponent jeered and rode off, he rode off with a whole skin
and a full pocket. Once even this renowned adventurer accepted the cut of
a riding-whip across his face, nor made any attempt to avenge the insult.
But his manifold shortcomings were no hindrance to his success. Wherever
he went, between London and York, he stopped coaches and levied his tax. A
threatening voice, an arched eyebrow, an arrogant method of fingering an
unloaded pistol, conspired with the craven, indolent habit of the time to
make his every journey a procession of triumph. He was capable of
performing all such feats as the age required of him. But you miss the
spirit, the bravery, the urbanity, and the wit, which made the adventurer
of the seventeenth century a figure of romance.
One point only of the great tradition did Harry Simms remember. He was
never unwilling to restore a trinket made precious by sentiment. Once when
he took a gold ring from a gentleman's finger a gentlewoman burst into
tears, exclaiming, 'There goes your father's ring.' Whereupon Simms threw
all his booty into a hat, saying, 'For God's sake, take that or anything
else you please.' In all other respects he was a bully, with the hesitancy
of a coward, rather than the proper rival of Hind or Duval. Apart from the
exercise of his trade, he was a very Mohock for brutality. He would
ill-treat his victims, whenever their drunkenness permitted the freedom,
and he had no better gifts for the women who were kind to him than cruelty
and neglect. One of his many imprisonments was the result of a monstrous
ferocity. 'Unluckily in a quarrel,' he tells you gravely, 'I ran a
crab-stick into a woman's eye'; and well did he deserve his sojourn in the
New Prison. At another time he rewarded the keeper of a coffee-house, who
supported him for six months, by stealing her watch; and, when she
grumbled at his insolence, he reflected, with a chuckle, that she could
more easily bear the loss of her watch than the loss of her lover. Even in
his gaiety there was an unpleasant spice of greed and truculence. Once,
when he was still seen in fashionable company, he went to a masquerade,
dressed in a rich Spanish habit, lent him by a Captain in the Guards, and
he made so fine a show that he captivated a young and beautiful Cyprian,
whom, when she would have treated him with generosity, he did but reward
with the loss of all her jewels.
Moreover, he had so small a regard for his craft, that he would spoil his
effects by drink or debauchery; and, though a highwayman, he cared so
little for style, that he would as lief trick a drunken gamester as face
his man on Bagshot Heath or beneath the shade of Epping Forest. You admire
not his success, because, like the success of the popular politician, it
depended rather upon his dupes than upon his merit. You approve not his
raffish exploits in the hells of Covent Garden or Drury Lane. But you
cannot withhold respect from his consistent dandyism, and you are grateful
for the record that, engaged in a mean enterprise, he was dressed 'in a
green velvet frock and a short lac'd waistcoat.' Above all, his
picturesque capture at Hockcliffe atones for much stupidity. The
resolution, wavering at the wine glass, the last drunken ride from St.
Albans—these are inventions in experience, which should make Simms
immortal. And when he sits 'by the fireside a good deal chagrined,' he
recalls the arrest of a far greater man—even of Cartouche, who was
surprised by the soldiers at his bedside stitching a torn pair of
breeches. His autobiography, wherein 'he relates the truth as a dying
man,' seemed excellent in the eyes of Borrow, who loved it so well that he
imagined a sentence, ascribed it falsely to Simms, and then rewarded it
with extravagant applause.
But Gentleman Harry knew how to tell a simple story, and the book, 'all
wrote by myself while under sentence of death,' is his best performance.
In action he had many faults, for, if he was a highwayman among rakes, he
was but a rake among highwaymen.
