He chose a college patronized by his chief school friend Chapman and by other old Sunningtonians, and during his first year managed to experience little in Univer-sity life that was unfamiliar. He belonged to an Old Boys' Club, and they played games together, tea'd and lunched together, kept up their provincialisms and slang, sat elbow to elbow in hall, and walked arm in arm about the streets. Now and then they got drunk and boasted mysteriously about women, but their outlook remained that of the upper fifth, and some of them kept it through life. There was no feud between them and the other undergraduates, but they were too compact to be popular, too mediocre to lead, and they did not care to risk knowing men who had come from other public schools. All this suited Maur-ice. He was constitutionally lazy. Though none of his difficul-ties had been solved, none were added, which is something. The hush continued. He was less troubled by carnal thoughts. He stood still in the darkness instead of groping about in it, as if this was the end for which body and soul had been so pain-fully prepared.
During his second year he underwent a change. He had moved into college and it began to digest him. His days he might spend as before, but when the gates closed on him at night a new process began. Even as a freshman he made the important discovery that grown-up men behave politely to one another unless there is a reason for the contrary. Some third-year people had called on him in his digs. He had expected
them to break his plates and insult the photograph of his mother, and when they did not he ceased planning how some day he should break theirs, thus saving time. And the manners of the dons were even more remarkable. Maurice was only wait-ing for such an atmosphere himself to soften. He did not enjoy being cruel and rude. It was against his nature. But it was neces-sary at school, or he might have gone under, and he had sup-posed it would have been even more necessary on the larger battlefield of the University.
Once inside college, his discoveries multiplied. People turned out to be alive. Hitherto he had supposed that theywere what hepretended to be—flat pieces of cardboard stamped with a conventional design—but as he strolled about the courts at night and saw through the windows some men singing and others arguing and others at their books, there came by no process of reason a conviction that they were human beings with feelings akin to his own. He had never lived frankly since Mr Abra-hams's school, and despite Dr Barry did not mean to begin; but he saw that while deceiving others he had been deceived, and mistaken them for the empty creatures he wanted them to think he was. No, they too had insides. "But, O Lord, not such an in-side as mine." As soon as he thought about other people as real, Maurice became modest and conscious of sin: in all creation there could be no one as vile as himself: no wonder he pre-tended to be a piece of cardboard; if known as he was, he would be hounded out of the world. God, being altogether too large an order, did not worry him: he could not conceive of any censure being more terrific than, say, Joey Fetherstonhaugh's, who kept in the rooms below, or of any Hell as bitter as Coventry.
Shortly after this discovery he went to lunch with Mr Corn-wallis, the Dean.
There were two other guests, Chapman and a B.A. from Trin-ity, a relative of the Dean's, by name Risley. Risley was dark
tall and affected. He made an exaggerated gesture when intro-duced, and when he spoke, which was continually, he used strong yet unmanly superlatives. Chapman caught Maurice's eye and distended his nostrils, inviting him to side against die newcomer. Maurice thought he would wait a bit first. His dis-inclination to give pain was increasing, and besides he was not sure that he loathed Risley, though no doubt he ought to, and in a minute should. So Chapman ventured alone. Finding Risley adored music, he began to run it down, saying, "I don't go in for being superior," and so on.
I do
Oh, do you! In that case I beg your pardon.
Come along, Chapman, you are in need of food," called Mr Cornwallis, and promised himself some amusement at lunch.
Spect Mr Risley isn't. I've put him off with my low talk.
They sat down, and Risley turned with a titter to Maurice and said, "I simplycant think of any reply to that"; in each of his sentences he accented one word violently. "It is so humili-ating. 'No' won't do. 'Yes' won't do. Whatis to be done
What about saving nothing?" said the Dean.
To say nothing? Horrible. You must be mad.
Are you always talking, may one ask?" inquired Chapman.
Risley said he was.
Never get tired of it
Never.
Ever tire other people
Never.
Odd that.
Do not suggest I've tired you. Untrue, untrue, you're beam-ing.
It's not at you if I am," said Chapman, who was hot-temp-ered.
Maurice and the Dean laughed.
I come to a standstill again. How amazing are the difficulties of conversation.
You seem to carry on better than most of us can," remarked Maurice. He had not spoken before, and his voice, which was low but very gruff, made Risley shiver.
Naturally. It is my forte. It is the only thing I care about, conversation.
Is that serious
Everything I say is serious." And somehow Maurice knew this was true. It had struck him at once that Risley was serious. "And are you serious
Don't sk me.
Then talk until you become so.
Rubbish," growled the Dean.
Chapman laughed tempestuously.
Rubbish?" He questioned Maurice, who, when he grasped the point, was understood to reply that deeds are more impor-tant than words.
What is the difference? Wordsare deeds. Do you mean to say that these five minutes in Cornwallis's rooms have done nothing for you? Will youever forget you have met me, for in-stance
Chapman grunted.
Rut he will not, nor will you. And then I am told we ought to be doing something.
The Dean came to the rescue of the two Sunningtonians. He said to his young cousin, "You're unsound about memory. You confuse what's important with what's impressive. No doubt Chapman and Hall always will remember they've met you
And forget this is a cutlet. Quite so.
Rut the cutlet does some good to them, and you none.
Obscurantist
This is just like a book," said Chapman. "Eh, Hall
I mean," said Risley, "oh how clearly I mean that the cutlet influences your subconscious lives, and I your conscious, and so I am not only more impressive than the cutlet but more impor-tant. Your Dean here, who dwells in Medieval Darkness and wishes you to do the same, pretends that only the subconscious, only the part of you that can be touched without your knowl-edge is important, and daily he drops soporific
Oh, shut up," said the Dean.
But I am a child of light
Oh, shut up." And he turned the conversation on to normal lines. Risley was not egotistic, though he always talked about himself. He did not interrupt. Nor did he feign indifference. Gambolling like a dolphin, he accompanied them whitherso-ever they went, without hindering their course. He was at play, but seriously. It was as important to him to go to and fro as to them to go forward, and he loved keeping near them. A few months earlier Maurice would have agreed with Chapman, but now he was sure the man had an inside, and he wondered whether he should see more of him. He was pleased when, after lunch was over, Risley waited for him at the bottom of the stairs and said, "You didn't see. My cousin wasn't being human.
He's good enough for us; that's all I know," exploded Chap-man. "He's absolutely delightful.
Exactly. Eunuchs are." And he was gone.
Well, I'm—" exclaimed the other, but with British self-con-trol suppressed the verb. He was deeply shocked. He didn't mind hot stuff in moderation, he told Maurice, but this was too much, it was bad form, ungentlemanly, the fellow could not have been through a public school. Maurice agreed. You could call your cousin a shit if you liked, but not a eunuch. Rotten style! All the same he was amused, and whenever he was hauled in in the future, mischievous and incongruous thoughts would occur to him about the Dean.