IT WAS Ashley’s birthday and Melanie was giving him a surprise reception that night. Everyoneknew about the reception, except Ashley. Even Wade and little Beau knew and were sworn tosecrecy that puffed them up with pride. Everyone in Atlanta who was nice had been invited andwas coming. General Gordon and his family had graciously accepted, Alexander Stephens wouldbe present if his ever-uncertain health permitted and even Bob Toombs, the stormy petrel of theConfederacy, was expected.
All that morning, Scarlett, with Melanie, India and Aunt Pitty flew about the little house,directing the negroes as they hung freshly laundered curtains, polished silver, waxed the floor andcooked, stirred and tasted the refreshments. Scarlett had never seen Melanie so excited or sohappy.
You see, dear, Ashley hasn’t had a birthday party since—since, you remember the barbecue atTwelve Oaks? The day we heard about Mr. Lincoln’s call for volunteers? Well, he hasn’t had abirthday party since then. And he works so hard and he’s so tired when he gets home at night thathe really hasn’t thought about today being his birthday. And won’t he be surprised after supperwhen everybody troops in
How you goin’ to manage them lanterns on the lawn without Mr. Wilkes seein’ them when hecomes home to supper?” demanded Archie grumpily.
He had sat all morning watching the preparations, interested but unwilling to admit it. He hadnever been behind the scenes at a large town folks’ party and it was a new experience. He madefrank remarks about women running around like the house was afire, just because they were having company, but wild horses could not have dragged him from the scene. The colored-paperlanterns which Mrs. Elsing and Fanny had made and painted for the occasion held a special interestfor him, as he had never seen “sech contraptions” before. They had been hidden in his room in thecellar and he had examined them minutely.
Mercy! I hadn’t thought of that!” cried Melanie. “Archie, how fortunate that you mentioned it.
Dear, dear! What shall I do? They’ve got to be strung on the bushes and trees and little candles putin them and lighted just at the proper time when the guests are arriving. Scarlett, can you send Porkdown to do it while we’re eating supper
Miz Wilkes, you got more sense than most women but you gits flurried right easy,” said Archie.
And as for that fool nigger, Pork, he ain’t got no bizness with them thar contraptions. He’d setthem afire in no time. They are—right pretty,” he conceded. “I’ll hang them for you, whilst youand Mr. Wilkes are eatin’.
Oh, Archie, how kind of you!” Melanie turned childlike eyes of gratitude and dependence uponhim. “I don’t know what I should do without you. Do you suppose you could go put the candles inthem now, so we’d have that much out of the way
Well, I could, p’raps,” said Archie ungraciously and stumped off toward the cellar stairs.
There’s more ways of killing a cat than choking him to death with butter,” giggled Melaniewhen the whiskered old man had thumped down the stairs. “I had intended all along for Archie toput up those lanterns but you know how he is. He won’t do a thing if you ask him to. And nowwe’ve got him out from underfoot for a while. The darkies are so scared of him they just won’t doany work when he’s around, breathing down their necks.
Melly, I wouldn’t have that old desperado in my house,” said Scarlett crossly. She hated Archieas much as he hated her and they barely spoke. Melanie’s was the only house in which he wouldremain if she were present. And even in Melanie’s house, he stared at her with suspicion and coldcontempt. “He’ll cause you trouble, mark my words.
Oh, he’s harmless if you flatter him and act like you depend on him,” said Melanie. “And he’sso devoted to Ashley and Beau that I always feel safe having him around.
You mean he’s so devoted to you, Melly,” said India, her cold face relaxing into a faintly warmsmile as her gaze rested fondly on her sister-in-law. “I believe you’re the first person that oldruffian has loved since his wife—er—since his wife. I think he’d really like for somebody to insultyou, so he could kill them to show his respect for you.
Mercy! How you run on, India!” said Melanie blushing. “He thinks I’m a terrible goose andyou know it.
Well, I don’t see that what that smelly old hillbilly thinks is of any importance,” said Scarlettabruptly. The very thought of how Archie had sat in judgment upon her about the convicts alwaysenraged her. “I have to go now. I’ve got to go get dinner and then go by the store and pay off theclerks and go by the lumber yard and pay the drivers and Hugh Elsing.
Oh, are you going to the lumber yard?” asked Melanie. “Ashley is coming in to the yard in thelate afternoon to see Hugh. Can you possibly hold him there till five o’clock? If he comes home earlier he’ll be sure to catch us finishing up a cake or something and then he won’t be surprised atall.
Scarlett smiled inwardly, good temper restored.
Yes, I’ll hold him,” she said.
As she spoke, India’s pale lashless eyes met hers piercingly. She always looks at me so oddlywhen I speak of Ashley, thought Scarlett.
Well, hold him there as long as you can after five o’clock,” said Melanie. “And then India willdrive down and pick him up. ... Scarlett, do come early tonight. I don’t want you to miss a minuteof the reception.
As Scarlett rode home she thought sullenly: “She doesn’t want me to miss a minute of thereception, eh? Well then, why didn’t she invite me to receive with her and India and Aunt Pitty
Generally, Scarlett would not have cared whether she received at Melly’s piddling parties or not.
But this was the largest party Melanie had ever given and Ashley’s birthday party too, and Scarlettlonged to stand by Ash-ley’s side and receive with him. But she knew why she had not beeninvited to receive. Even had she not known it, Rhett’s comment on the subject had been frankenough.
A Scalawag receive when all die prominent ex-Confederates and Democrats are going to bethere? Your notions are as enchanting as they are muddle headed. It’s only because of Miss Melly’sloyalty that you are invited at all.
Scarlett dressed with more than usual care that afternoon for her trip to the store and the lumberyard, wearing the new dull-green changeable taffeta frock that looked lilac in some lights and thenew pale-green bonnet, circled about with dark-green plumes. If only Rhett would let her cut bangsand frizzle them on her forehead, how much better this bonnet would look! But he had declaredthat he would shave her whole head if she banged her forelocks. And these days he acted soatrociously he really might do it.
It was a lovely afternoon, sunny but not too hot, bright but not glaring, and the warm breeze thatrustled the trees along Peachtree Street made the plumes on Scarlett’s bonnet dance. Her heartdanced too, as always when she was going to see Ashley. Perhaps, if she paid off the team driversand Hugh early, they would go home and leave her and Ashley alone in the square little office inthe middle of the lumber yard. Chances to see Ashley alone were all too infrequent these days. Andto think that Melanie had asked her to hold him! That was funny
Her heart was merry when she reached the store, and she paid off Willie and the other counterboys without even asking what the day’s business had been. It was Saturday, the biggest day of theweek for the store, for all the farmers came to town to shop that day, but she asked no questions.
Along the way to the lumber yard she stopped a dozen times to speak with Carpetbagger ladiesin splendid equipages—not so splendid as her own, she thought with pleasure—and with manymen who came through the red dust of the street to stand hat in hand and compliment her. It was abeautiful afternoon, she was happy, she looked pretty and her progress was a royal one. Because ofthese delays she arrived at the lumber yard later than she intended and found Hugh and the team drivers sitting on a low pile of lumber waiting for her.
Is Ashley here
Yes, he’s in the office,” said Hugh, the habitually worried expression leaving his face at thesight of her happy, dancing eyes. “He’s trying to—I mean, he’s going over the books.
Oh, he needn’t bother about that today,” she said and then lowering her voice: “Melly sent medown to keep him here till they get the house straight for the reception tonight.
Hugh smiled for he was going to the reception. He liked parties and he guessed Scarlett did toofrom the way she looked this afternoon. She paid off the teamsters and Hugh and, abruptly leavingthem, walked toward the office, showing plainly by her manner that she did not care to beaccompanied. Ashley met her at the door and stood in the afternoon sunshine, his hair bright andon his lips a little smile that was almost a grin.
Why, Scarlett, what are you doing downtown this time of the day? Why aren’t you out at myhouse helping Melly get ready for the surprise party
Why, Ashley Wilkes!” she cried indignantly. “You weren’t supposed to know a thing about it.
Melly will be so disappointed if you aren’t surprised.
Oh, I won’t let on. I’ll be the most surprised man in Atlanta,” said Ashley, his eyes laughing.
Now, who was mean enough to tell you
Practically every man Melly invited. General Gordon was the first. He said it had been hisexperience that when women gave surprise parties they usually gave them on the very nights menhad decided to polish and clean all the guns in the house. And then Grandpa Merriwether warnedme. He said Mrs. Merriwether gave him a surprise party once and she was the most surprisedperson there, because Grandpa had been treating his rheumatism, on the sly, with a bottle ofwhisky and he was too drunk to get out of bed and—oh, every man who’s ever had a surprise partygiven him told me.
The mean things!” cried Scarlett but she had to smile.
He looked like the old Ashley she knew at Twelve Oaks when he smiled like this. And he smiledso seldom these days. The air was so soft, the sun so gentle, Ashley’s face so gay, his talk sounconstrained that her heart leaped with happiness. It swelled in her bosom until it positivelyached with pleasure, ached as with a burden of joyful, hot, unshed tears. Suddenly she felt sixteenagain and happy, a little breathless and excited. She had a mad impulse to snatch off her bonnetand toss it into the air and cry “Hurray!” Then she thought how startled Ashley would be if she didthis, and she suddenly laughed, laughed until tears came to her eyes. He laughed, too, throwingback his head as though he enjoyed laughter, thinking her mirth came from the friendly treacheryof the men who had given Melly’s secret away.
Come in, Scarlett. I’m going over the books.
She passed into the small room, blazing with the afternoon sun, and sat down in the chair beforethe roll-topped desk. Ashley, following her, seated himself on the corner of the rough table, hislong legs dangling easily.
Oh, don’t let’s fool with any books this afternoon, Ashley! I just can’t be bothered. When I’mwearing a new bonnet, it seems like all the figures I know leave my head.
Figures are well lost when the bonnet’s as pretty as that one,” he said. “Scarlett, you get prettierall the time
He slipped from the table and, laughing, took her hands, spreading them wide so he could seeher dress. “You are so pretty! I don’t believe you’ll ever get old
At his touch she realized that, without being conscious of it, she had hoped that just this thingwould happen. All this happy afternoon, she had hoped for the warmth of his hands, the tendernessof his eyes, a word that would show he cared. This was the first time they had been utterly alonesince the cold day in the orchard at Tara, the first time their hands had met in any but formalgestures, and through the long months she had hungered for closer contact. But now—How odd that the touch of his hands did not excite her! Once his very nearness would have sether a-tremble. Now she felt a curious warm friendliness and content. No fever leaped from hishands to hers and in his hands her heart hushed to happy quietness. This puzzled her, made her alittle disconcerted. He was still her Ashley, still her bright, shining darling and she loved him betterthan life. Then why—But she pushed the thought from her mind. It was enough that she was with him and he washolding her hands and smiling, completely friendly, without strain or fever. It seemed miraculousthat this could be when she thought of all the unsaid things that lay between them. His eyes lookedinto hers, clear and shining, smiling in the old way she loved, smiling as though there had neverbeen anything between them but happiness. There was no barrier between his eyes and hers now,no baffling remoteness. She laughed.
Oh, Ashley, I’m getting old and decrepit.
Ah, that’s very apparent! No, Scarlett, when you are sixty, you’ll look the same to me. I’llalways remember you as you were that day of our last barbecue, sitting under an oak with a dozenboys around you. I can even tell you just how you were dressed, in a white dress covered with tinygreen flowers and a white lace shawl about your shoulders. You had on little green slippers withblack lacings and an enormous leghorn hat with long green streamers. I know that dress by heartbecause when I was in prison and things got too bad, I’d take out my memories and thumb themover like pictures, recalling every little detail
He stopped abruptly and the eager light faded from his face. He dropped her hands gently andshe sat waiting, waiting for his next words.
We’ve come a long way, both of us, since that day, haven’t we, Scarlett? We’ve traveled roadswe never expected to travel. You’ve come swiftly, directly, and I, slowly and reluctantly.
He sat down on the table again and looked at her and a small smile crept back into his face. Butit was not the smile that had made her so happy so short a while before. It was a bleak smile.
Yes, you came swiftly, dragging me at your chariot wheels. Scarlett, sometimes I have animpersonal curiosity as to what would have happened to me without you.
Scarlett went quickly to defend him from himself, more quickly because treacherously there rose to her mind Rhett’s words on this same subject,“But I’ve never done anything for you, Ashley. Without me, you’d have been just the same.
Some day, you’d have been a rich man, a great man like you are going to be.
No, Scarlett, the seeds of greatness were never in me. I think that if it hadn’t been for you, I’dhave gone down into oblivion—like poor Cathleen Calvert and so many other people who oncehad great names, old names.
Oh, Ashley, don’t talk like that. You sound so sad.
No, I’m not sad. Not any longer. Once—once I was sad. Now, I’m only
He stopped and suddenly she knew what he was thinking. It was the first time she had everknown what Ashley was thinking when his eyes went past her, crystal clear, absent When the furyof love had beaten in her heart, his mind had been closed to her. Now, in the quiet friendliness thatlay between them, she could walk a little way into his mind, understand a little. He was not sad anylonger. He had been sad after the surrender, sad when she begged him to come to Atlanta. Now, hewas only resigned.
I hate to hear you talk like that, Ashley,” she said vehemently. “You sound just like Rhett. He’salways harping on things like that and something he calls the survival of the fitting till I’m sobored I could scream.
Ashley smiled.
Did you ever stop to think, Scarlett, that Rhett and I are fundamentally alike
Oh, no! You are so fine, so honorable and he—” She broke off, confused.
But we are. We came of the same kind of people, we were raised in the same pattern, broughtup to think the same things. And somewhere along the road we took different turnings. We stillthink alike but we react differently. As, for instance, neither of us believed in the war but I enlistedand fought and he stayed out till nearly the end. We both knew the war was all wrong. We bothknew it was a losing fight, I was willing to fight a losing fight. He wasn’t. Sometimes I think hewas right and then, again
Oh, Ashley, when will you stop seeing both sides of questions?” she asked. But she did notspeak impatiently as she once would have done. “No one ever gets anywhere seeing both sides.
That’s true but—Scarlett, just where do you want to get? I’ve often wondered. You see, I neverwanted to get anywhere at all. I’ve only wanted to be myself.
Where did she want to get? That was a silly question. Money and security, of course. And yet—Her mind fumbled. She had money and as much security as one could hope for in an insecureworld. But, now that she thought about it, they weren’t quite enough. Now that she thought aboutit, they hadn’t made her particularly happy, though they made her less harried, less fearful of themorrow. If I’d had money and security and you, that would have been where I wanted to get, shethought, looking at him yearningly. But she did not speak the words, fearful of breaking the spellthat lay between them, fearful that his mind would close against her.
You only want to be yourself?” she laughed, a little ruefully. “Not being myself has always been my hardest trouble! As to where I want to get, well, I guess I’ve gotten there. I wanted to berich and safe and
But, Scarlett, did it ever occur to you that I don’t care whether I’m rich or not
No, it had never occurred to her that anyone would not want to be rich.
Then, what do you want
I don’t know, now. I knew once but I’ve half forgotten. Mostly to be left alone, not to beharried by people I don’t like, driven to do things I don’t want to do. Perhaps—I want the old daysback again and they’ll never come back, and I am haunted by the memory of them and of theworld falling about my ears.
Scarlett set her mouth obstinately. It was not that she did not know what he meant. The verytones of his voice called up other days as nothing else could, made her heart hurt suddenly, as shetoo remembered. But since the day she had lain sick and desolate in the garden at Twelve Oaks andsaid: “I won’t look back,” she had set her face against the past.
I like these days better,” she said. But she did not meet his eyes as she spoke. “There’s alwayssomething exciting happening now, parties and so on. Everything’s got a glitter to it. The old dayswere so dull.” (Oh, lazy days and warm still country twilights! The high soft laughter from thequarters! The golden warmth life had then and the comforting knowledge of what all tomorrowswould bring! How can I deny you?)“I like these days better,” she said but her voice was tremulous.
He slipped from the table, laughing softly in unbelief. Putting his hand under her chin, he turnedher face up to his.
Ah, Scarlett, what a poor liar you are! Yes, life has a glitter now—of a sort That’s what’s wrongwith it. The old days had no glitter but they had a charm, a beauty, a slow-paced glamour.
Her mind pulled two ways, she dropped her eyes. The sound of his voice, the touch of his handwere softly unlocking doors that she had locked forever. Behind those doors lay the beauty of theold days, and a sad hunger for them welled up within her. But she knew that no matter what beautylay behind, it must remain there. No one could go forward with a load of aching memories.
His hand dropped from her chin and he took one of her hands between his two and held itgently.
Do you remember,” he said—and a warning bell in her mind rang: Don’t look back! Don’t lookback
But she swiftly disregarded it, swept forward tide of happiness. At last she was understandinghim,atlasttheirmindshadmet.Thismom(on) en(a) t was too precious to be lost, no matterwhat pain came after.
Do you remember,” he said and under the spell of his voice the bare walls of the’little officefaded and the years rolled aside and they were riding country bridle paths together in a long-gonespring. As he spoke, his light grip tightened on her hand and in his voice was the sad magic of oldhalf-forgotten songs. She could hear the gay jingle of bridle bits as they rode under the dogwood trees to the Tarletons’ picnic, hear her own careless laughter, see the sun glinting on his silver-gilthair and note the proud easy grace with which he sat his horse. There was music in his voice, themusic of fiddles and banjos to which they had danced in the white house that was no more. Therewas the far-off yelping of possum dogs in the dark swamp under cool autumn moons and the smellof eggnog bowls, wreathed with holly at Christmas time and smiles on black and white faces. Andold friends came trooping back, laughing as though they had not been dead these many years
Stuart and Brent with their long legs and their red hair and their practical jokes, Tom and Boyd aswild as young horses, Joe Fontaine with his hot black eyes, and Cade and Raiford Calvert whomoved with such languid grace. There was John Wilkes, too; and Gerald, red with brandy; and awhisper and a fragrance that was Ellen. Over it all rested a sense of security, a knowledge that tomorrowcould only bring the same happiness today had brought.
His voice stopped and they looked for a long quiet moment into each other’s eyes and betweenthem lay the sunny lost youth that they had so unthinkingly shared.
Now I know why you can’t be happy,” she thought sadly. “I never understood before. I neverunderstood before why I wasn’t altogether happy either. But—why, we are talking like old peopletalk!” she thought with dreary surprise. “Old people looking back fifty years. And we’re not old
It’s just that so much has happened in between. Everything’s changed so much that it seems likefifty years ago. But we’re not old
But when she looked at Ashley he was no longer young and shining. His head was bowed as helooked down absently at her hand which he still held and she saw that his once bright hair was verygray, silver gray as moonlight on still water. Somehow the bright beauty had gone from the Aprilafternoon and from her heart as well and the sad sweetness of remembering was as bitter as gall.
I shouldn’t have let him make me look back,” she thought despairingly. “I was right when Isaid I’d never look back. It hurts too much, it drags at your heart till you can’t ever do anythingelse except look back. That’s what’s wrong with Ashley. He can’t look forward any more. He can’tsee the present, he fears the future, and so he looks back. I never understood it before. I neverunderstood Ashley before. Oh, Ashley, my darling, you shouldn’t look back! What good will it do
I shouldn’t have let you tempt me into talking of the old days. This is what happens when you lookback to happiness, this pain, this heartbreak, this discontent.
She rose to her feet, her hand still in his. She must go. She could not stay and think of the olddays and see his face, tired and sad and bleak as it now was.
We’ve come a long way since those days, Ashley,” she said, trying to steady her voice, tryingto fight the constriction in her throat. “We had fine notions then, didn’t we?” And then, with a rush,“Oh, Ashley, nothing has turned out as we expected
It never does,” he said. “Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. We take what weget and are thankful it’s no worse than it is.
Her heart was suddenly dull with pain, with weariness, as she thought of the long road she hadcome since those days. There rose up in her mind the memory of Scarlett O’Hara who loved beauxand pretty dresses and who intended, some day, when she had the time, to be a great lady likeEllen.
Without warning, tears started in her eyes and rolled slowly down her cheeks and she stoodlooking at him dumbly, like a hurt bewildered child. He said no word but took her gently in hisarms, pressed her head against his shoulder and, leaning down, laid his cheek against hers. Sherelaxed against him and her arms went round his body. The comfort of his arms helped dry hersudden tears. Ah, it was good to be in his arms, without passion, without tenseness, to be there as aloved friend. Only Ashley who shared her memories and her youth, who knew her beginnings andher present could understand.
She heard the sound of feet outside but paid little heed, thinking it was the teamsters goinghome. She stood for a moment, listening to the slow beat of Ashley’s heart. Then suddenly hewrenched himself from her, confusing her by his violence. She looked up into his face in surprisebut he was not looking at her. He was looking over her shoulder at the door.
She turned and there stood India, white faced, her pale eyes blazing, and Archie, malevolent as aone-eyed parrot. Behind them stood Mrs. Elsing.
How she got out of the office she never remembered. But she went instantly, swiftly, byAshley’s order, leaving Ashley and Archie in grim converse in the little room and India and Mrs.
Elsing outside with their backs to her. Shame and fear sped her homeward and, in her mind, Archiewith his patriarch’s beard assumed the proportions of an avenging angel straight from the pages ofthe Old Testament.
The house was empty and still in the April sunset. All the servants had gone to a funeral and thechildren were playing in Melanie’s back yard. Melanie—Melanie! Scarlett went cold at the thought of her as she climbed the stairs to her room. Melaniewould hear of this. India had said she would tell her. Oh, India would glory in telling her, notcaring if she blackened Ashley’s name, not caring if she hurt Melanie, if by so doing she couldinjure Scarlett! And Mrs. Elsing would talk too, even though she had really seen nothing, becauseshe was behind India and Archie in the door of the lumber office. But she would talk, just thesame. The news would be all over town by supper time. Everyone, even the negroes, would knowby tomorrow’s breakfast. At the party tonight, women would gather in corners and whisperdiscreetly and with malicious pleasure. Scarlett Butler rumbled from her high and mighty place
And the story would grow and grow. There was no way of stopping it. It wouldn’t stop at the barefacts, that Ashley was holding her in his arms while she cried. Before nightfall people would besaying she had been taken in adultery. And it had been so innocent, so sweet! Scarlett thoughtwildly: If we had been caught that Christmas of his furlough when I kissed him good-by—if wehad been caught in the orchard at Tara when I begged him to run away with me—oh, if we’d beencaught any of the times when we were really guilty, it wouldn’t be so bad! But now! Now! When Iwent to his arms as a friend—But no one would believe that. She wouldn’t have a single friend to take her part, not a singlevoice would be raised to say: “I don’t believe she was doing anything wrong.” She had outragedold friends too long to find a champion among them now. Her new friends, suffering in silenceunder her insolences, would welcome a chance to blackguard her. No, everybody would believeanything about her, though they might regret that so fine a man as Ashley Wilkes was mixed up in so dirty an affair. As usual they would cast the blame upon the woman and shrug at the man’s guilt.
And in this case they would be right. She had gone into his arms.
Oh, she could stand the cuts, the slights, the covert smiles, anything the town might say, if shehad to stand them—but not Melanie! Oh, not Melanie! She did not know why she should mindMelanie knowing, more than anyone else. She was too frightened and weighed down by a sense ofpast guilt to try to understand it. But she burst into tears at the thought of what would be inMelanie’s eyes when India told her that she had caught Ashley fondling Scarlett. And what wouldMelanie do when she knew? Leave Ashley? What else could she do, with any dignity? And whatwill Ashley and I do then? she thought frenziedly, the tears streaming down her face. Oh, Ashleywill die of shame and hate me for bringing this on him. Suddenly her tears stopped short as adeadly fear went through her heart. What of Rhett? What would he do
Perhaps he’d never know. What was that old saying, that cynical saying? “The husband isalways the last to find out.” Perhaps no one would tell him. It would take a brave man to breaksuch news to Rhett, for Rhett had the reputation for shooting first and asking questions afterwards.
Please, God, don’t let anybody be brave enough to tell him! But she remembered the face ofArchie in the lumber office, the cold, pale eye, remorseless, full of hate for her and all women.
Archie feared neither God nor man and he hated loose women. He had hated them enough to killone. And he had said he would tell Rhett. And he’d tell him in spite of all Ashley could do to dissuadehim. Unless Ashley killed him, Archie would tell Rhett, feeling it his Christian duty.
She pulled off her clothes and lay down on the bed, her mind whirling round and round. If shecould only lock her door and stay in this safe place forever and ever and never see anyone again.
Perhaps Rhett wouldn’t find out tonight. She’d say she had a headache and didn’t feel like going tothe reception. By morning she would have thought up some excuse to offer, some defense thatmight hold water.
I won’t think of it now,” she said desperately, burying her face in the pillow. “I won’t think of itnow. I’ll think of it later when I can stand it.
She heard the servants come back as night fell and it seemed to her that they were very silent asthey moved about preparing supper. Or was it her guilty conscience? Mammy came to the door andknocked but Scarlett sent her away, saying she did not want any supper. Time passed and finallyshe heard Rhett coming up the steps. She held herself tensely as he reached the upper hall,gathered all her strength for a meeting but he passed into his room. She breathed easier. He hadn’theard. Thank God, he still respected her icy request that he never put foot in her bedroom again,for if he saw her now, her face would give her away. She must gather herself together enough totell him that she felt too ill to go to the reception. Well, there was time enough for her to calmherself. Or was there time? Since the awful moment that afternoon, life had seemed timeless. Sheheard Rhett moving about in his room for a long time, speaking occasionally to Pork. Still shecould not find courage to call to him. She lay still on the bed in the darkness, shaking.
After a long time, he knocked on her door and she said, trying to control her voice: “Come in.
Am I actually being invited into the sanctuary?” he questioned, opening the door. It was darkand she could not see his face. Nor could she make anything of his voice. He entered and closedthe door.
Are you ready for the reception
I’m so sorry but I have a headache.” How odd that her voice sounded natural! Thank God forthe dark! “I don’t believe I’ll go. You go, Rhett, and give Melanie my regrets.
There was a long pause and he spoke drawlingly, bitingly in the dark.
What a white livered, cowardly little bitch you are.
He knew! She lay shaking, unable to speak. She heard him fumble in the dark, strike a matchand the room sprang into light. He walked over to the bed and looked down at her. She saw that hewas in evening clothes.
Get up,” he said and there was nothing in his voice. “We are going to the reception. You willhave to hurry.
Oh, Rhett, I can’t. You see
I can see. Get up.
Rhett, did Archie dare
Archie dared. A very brave man, Archie.
You should have killed him for telling lies
I have a strange way of not killing people who tell the truth. There’s no time to argue now. Getup.
She sat up, hugging her wrapper close to her, her eyes searching his face. It was dark andimpassive.
I won’t go, Rhett I can’t until this—misunderstanding is cleared up.
If you don’t show your face tonight, you’ll never be able to show it in this town as long as youlive. And while I may endure a trollop for a wife, I won’t endure a coward. You are going tonight,even if everyone, from Alex Stephens down, cuts you and Mrs. Wilkes asks us to leave the house.
Rhett, let me explain.
I don’t want to hear. There isn’t time. Get on your clothes.
They misunderstood—India and Mrs. Elsing and Archie. And they hate me so. India hates meso much that she’d even tell lies about her own brother to make me appear in a bad light. If you’llonly let me explain
Oh, Mother of God, she thought in agony, suppose he says: “Pray do explain!” What can I say
How can I explain
They’ll have told everybody lies. I can’t go tonight.
You will go,” he said, “if I have to drag you by the neck and plant my boot on your ever socharming bottom every step of the way.
There was a cold glitter in his eyes as he jerked her to her feet He picked up her stays and threwthem at her.
Put them on. I’ll lace you. Oh yes, I know all about lacing. No, I won’t call Mammy to helpyou and have you lock the door and skulk here like the coward you are.
I’m not a coward,” she cried, stung out of her fear.
Oh, spare me your saga about shooting Yankees and facing Sherman’s army. You’re a coward—among other things. If not for your own sake, you are going tonight for Bonnie’s sake. Howcould you further ruin her chances? Put on your stays, quick.
Hastily she slipped off her wrapper and stood clad only in her chemise. If only he would look ather and see how nice she looked in her chemise, perhaps that frightening look would leave hisface. After all, he hadn’t seen her in her chemise for ever and ever so long. But he did not look. Hewas in her closet, going through her dresses swiftly. He fumbled and drew out her new jade-greenwatered-silk dress. It was cut low over the bosom and the skirt was draped back over an enormousbustle and on the bustle was a huge bunch of pink velvet roses.
Wear that,” he said, tossing it on the bed and coming toward her. “No modest, matronly dovegrays and lilacs tonight. Your flag must be nailed to the mast, for obviously you’d run it down if itwasn’t. And plenty of rouge. I’m sure the woman the Pharisees took in adultery didn’t look half sopale. Turn around.
He took the strings of the stays in his hands and jerked them so hard that she cried out,frightened, humiliated, embarrassed at such an untoward performance.
Hurts, does it?” He laughed shortly and she could not see his face. “Pity it isn’t around yourneck.
Melanie’s house blazed lights from every room and they could hear the music far up the street.
As they drew up in front, the pleasant exciting sounds of many people enjoying themselves floatedout. The house was packed with guests. They overflowed on verandas and many were sitting onbenches in the dim lantern-hung yard.
I can’t go in—I can’t, thought Scarlett, sitting in the carriage, gripping her balled-uphandkerchief. I can’t. I won’t. I will jump out and run away, somewhere, back home to Tara, Whydid Rhett force me to come here? What will people do? What will Melanie do? What will she looklike? Oh, I can’t face her. I will run away.
As though he read her mind, Rhett’s hand closed upon her arm in a grip that would leave abruise, the rough grip of a careless stranger.
I’ve never known an Irishman to be a coward. Where’s your much-vaunted courage
Rhett, do please, let me go home and explain.
You have eternity in which to explain and only one night to be a martyr in the amphitheater.
Get out, darling, and let me see the lions eat you. Get out.
She went up the walk somehow, the arm she was holding as hard and steady as granite,communicating to her some courage. By God, she could face them and she would. What were theybut a bunch of howling, clawing cats who were jealous of her? She’d show them. She didn’t carewhat they thought. Only Melanie—only Melanie.
They were on the porch and Rhett was bowing right and left, his hat in his hand, his voice cooland soft. The music stopped as they entered and the crowd of people seemed to her confused mindto surge up to her like the roar of the sea and then ebb away, with lessening, ever-lessening sound.
Was everyone going to cut her? Well, God’s nightgown, let them do it! Her chin went up and shesmiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling.
Before she could turn to speak to those nearest the door, someone came through the press ofpeople. There was an odd hush that caught Scarlett’s heart. Then through the lane came Melanie onsmall feet that hurried, hurried to meet Scarlett at the door, to speak to her before anyone elsecould speak. Her narrow shoulders were squared and her small jaw set indignantly and, for all hernotice, she might have had no other guest but Scarlett. She went to her side and slipped an armabout her waist.
What a lovely dress, darling,” she said in her small, clear voice. “Will you be an angel? Indiawas unable to come tonight and assist me. Will you receive with me